Three Six Five

 A year ago we were a mess of conversation and unsureness.  Rabbit had nervously pushed out the words to say that he had feelings for me, and we spent the following weeks discussing the things we thought we wanted or needed.  There were conversations about fears, obstacles, concerns, and many other things to lay down groundwork of a clear and healthy foundation.

It was also the birth of things like Team Ice Cream, threatening to run away to Germany, and being doomed all over the world.  Ultimately, he laid the final decision in my hand each time, and I not only decided that we needed to give things a try, but likewise that we needed to ignore the timeline that we had wound up putting in someone else's hands.  It's a good thing that I did the latter too, because it would have meant waiting until late spring to officially be together at all.

And so we began the last year.  A year of discovery, pain, change, difficulty, work, and stress.  We've had health issues, trauma triggering, toxic people, massive life changes, and everything in between.  Alongside that, there's been healing, learning, openness, genuine love and care, as well as joy, laughter, and gratitude.

I couldn't be more grateful that we took the plunge a year ago.  While Rabbit would always be in my life to some capacity if we had decided to stay only friends, I'd take far more difficulties than we even had in the last twelve months to know that I get the greatest and most amazing partner to share my life with at the end of it.  I've learned what healthy love looks like for the first time in my life.  We've both now experienced conflict in a way that isn't malicious, and know that we're allowed to, and expected to speak up about our needs and wants so that we can work together as a team.

It's no longer just one of us versus the world, but the two of us together.  I think about how my previous relationships were at the one year mark, and this one by far has me happier, and more looking forward to the future than any other one in the past, or any that I could ever imagine.