Lately, I've been paying attention to what helps quiet my mind when it comes to body image.
It's probably no surprise, but my mental state has a lot to do with it. When I'm only around my parents, who constantly treat me like garbage, I feel horrible. I want to curl up in a ball, and I want no one to look at me. Simply to hide under the blankets, and sleep forever, and not have to deal with any of it.
And then I stop feeling drive to work out, and notice those changes as well. I lose that clarity of mind, or that boost of energy, or getting to see what my body can do.
It's terrible. I hate the feeling, and yet I've dealt with it most of my life.
But, when I remember to work out as often as I can, my posture improves, and I see what I'm physically capable of. I see my strength, and flexibility, and get that feeling like jell-o afterward. It makes me see all of that in the mirror, and while I notice all the physical imperfections I have, they seem quieter. I see myself closer to how the world likely does, instead of the horrible interpretation hiding in my brain.
When I'm away, or with those I care about, it helps as well. And when I eat properly it helps, as well as what I wear, or making sure I put myself together properly.
When I create a positive environment for myself, I see the beauty in life and in myself. However, given the amount of toxic and emotionally abusive shit in my life, it's hard to stay there.
Comments
Post a Comment