L

While making out with Kitty when we were together last, he mentioned feels making his current situation difficult.  That he was used to how we felt about each other way back when, but now taking in his best friend, partner in crime, and a relationship that clocks in over a decade, as well as feels being far beyond what they were, it takes some processing.  And also, as he put it "that l-word we skirt around without really mentioning, but feeling", which I said that we've always told each other when it was needed, but neither one of us felt like we had the place to say it all the time.

And then we did the math.  Six years since I'd said it, and longer since he had.

There are very few people I've told that I loved since my mid teens.  Probably a half dozen, and rarely was I the first one to say it.  I wait until there's no chance of it being a crush, or a rebound, or any of that, and until that long term shine comes through. 

And, I don't say it often.  Not because I'm afraid, but because I never want it to lose meaning.  I don't use it as an excuse, or to get people to do things, but because people should know they're loved.  I show love through actions, and care, and support, rather than words generally.  It's generally pretty easy to tell when I do love someone.

Kitty and I told each other the next night, and agreed we should say it more, and acknowledge the feels and connection we have in a better way. 

I love both Kitty and Lux, and I should be more explicit about it with them.  It'd probably help them both sometimes.

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