Little things fuck me up. The bullshit my family pulls, or the gnome, makes me constantly pissed. It drags me down and digs away to the point where I overthink, and it makes me feel like shit. When I bottom, if it's a long enough play session with someone I know, I'll go nonverbal with floaty endorphins.
However, I've got this weird sort of super power when shit happens. If someone gets hurt, or something goes down, I burn those brain chemicals, and instantly put those emotions to the side. I gain focus, and clarity to make sure whatever went down gets my full attention until it's fixed and I'm sure everything is good again.
When I bottom, if anything is no longer happy, I quickly snap out of the floaty feeling, burn through those endorphins, speak up and stop what is going on.
This is not only helpful for making me a safe partner, but lets me make sure those I care about get every bit of help and support possible, no matter what is happening. A partner moves wrong, and pulls something, and I instantly give that care, finding out how bad it is, and if it needs attention. They hit a mental limit, and I can tell those small changes happen, which means I step in, snuggle them up, and silence that stress in their mind.
I suppose it works towards being service oriented. I'm taking care of them no matter what is going on with me, and making sure I stay open, honest and safe with them. And, when I do wind up doing this when stressed, it means I'm not over thinking anymore. All in all, it's a skill I'm very happy to have.
Comments
Post a Comment