A New Devious Chapter

I recently had a friend who is also an ex-coworker join Fetlife who I will call L0v.  She found me after a few days, and I've been giving her a hand about things with it. Before she found me though, a dom on there apparently found her.  I thought it was someone she knew when I friended her.  I checked his profile, and it simply said to contact him, was full of dick pics, and every single one of his friends was younger submissive females. Needless to say, he gave off the creeper vibe. So, I begin talking with L0v, and she mentions being close to being in a full on D/s relationship, and mentions that it's with this guy.  Who she has known less than a week.  And she has no real knowledge of the scene. Cue my over-protective motherly instinct! I immediately let her know that I felt something was wrong with this, and start informing her that just because she is now a part of the kinky side of the world, it doesn't mean she needs to treat new people differen...

So, I'm pretty picky about who I fuck.  And by pretty picky, I mean far more than I think most people would comprehend considering how I live my life otherwise. I find that as well as this, so many girls I talk to, have something else that I do not share with them. So many of my female friends bareback with every boy they date.  Or any boy they fuck on the side, despite the fact that they may have just recently met, or have only known each other for a short amount of time. Sometimes this is due to money, or allergies, or simply that the girl is easily talked out of the need for one. All these excuses, I believe are bullshit. That's right, complete utter bullshit. Admittedly, I went through this phase.  The first guy I ever fucked, I barebacked with.  However, we trusted each other implicitly, he got tested yearly even while in a relationship (that was supposed to be monogamous... Oops?) and we honestly had no intention of fucking until we had been fooling ...

I've always had problems with my body.  I have a very odd build, and it caused me to hear nothing but ridicule, and negative things up until I'd had my daughter. Yes, that's right, I never had a single positive word said about me until I was in my twenties.  Instead I was just brought down, and anyone I dated never said a word either way. In my early teens, I dressed to hide my body.  Loose clothing, and usually men's clothes at that hid my figure.  I could cover myself up, and it was like a security blanket I wore with me at all times.  This however, brought on more comments, and didn't help much in the long run. Then my hair disappeared, and holes appeared in my ears.  I started wearing suits every day.  While I was still completely covered, I no longer looked like a boy, and this quieted down the negative words.  My boyfriend at the time flipped out with me because I had pierced my ears.  No good words about me, just that he hated my...

Obviously, I enjoy a lot of sex.  I enjoy affection, and playtime as often as I can possibly get it. There are other things though, that will make me much happier, and mean far more to me.  They are things I won't easily forget, and that work far better in any attempt to woo me than any sexual act. Bringing me coffee, sitting and sharing a cup curled up, or out and just relaxing and talking. Helping me bake, and encouraging mad science.  Then trying to decide whether or not to eat it all while it's still warm and gooey. Letting me cook for you, because damnit, I make better food than we'd get eating out anyway. Laying on each other reading books.  Just that quiet relaxation, and not feeling the need to entertain someone, but simply enjoying them being there. Watch anime with me.  Either one of my favorites, or show me a new one.  Nerd base is hot. Adventure with me.  Just wander around somewhere with me.  Let's get lost, and not worry ab...

So, I was one of those switches that started thinking I was only a sadist.  For the longest time, I just enjoyed hurting people who wanted it, seeing how much they could take, and experimenting on the reactions to different pains at different levels.  That was all I needed to be perfectly fulfilled. Then I had a friend ask if I wanted to try mixing power exchange with it.  That he trusted me to be safe holding all the control of a situation. And well, that was fun too! All this, and it still wasn't sexual for me though.  Keep this in mind. At this point, I was content in just being the toppy/dommy/sadist side of things. Until, one day someone fought back.  Just for fun, they tore me up as I took them apart. I realized then, pain was pretty fun on both sides! One more thing I found I enjoyed.  Hooray!  This also made me acknowledge that I was in fact a switch in at least one aspect. That friend that suggested I try being domly?  He th...

So, as much as I post most frequently as having been a bottom, masochist, or submissive lately, I really am actually a dominant swaying switch. Really.  I mean it. With the bulk of people I meet, and would possibly play with, I find that I feel dominant toward them, or at the very least that I would never give up any control to them. So, I dig seeing pictures of femdom stuff on the net.  Women asserting the power they have, knowing how strong they are, and seeing someone else kneel before them is something I can relate to, and enjoy seeing other women not just look like the weak maiden. However, I notice most of the girl/girl stuff tends to be blatantly sexual, which I just have no interest in.  I am startlingly straight, and so same sex stuff just turns me off generally (unless I notice it's making friends happy, in which case it's just satisfying to see people I care about having a good time).  Girls can totally play without sex happening (I know, I do it so...

I've been reading a lot of articles lately about people looking for the perfect mate.  That they stay single forever because they won't give anyone a chance, even if it means getting a fantastic friendship out of it.  They all seem to reinforce that people need to take the risk to put themselves out there, and try going out with someone to see if something can blossom from it. There's something about this I don't like though. It looks like, with how they are all written, to seem as though everyone should be looking for a relationship at all times. And that, is bullshit. I know too many people that feel the need to be in a relationship.  That they need someone else to validate their life, and the idea of being single scares them to death. I know people who cling to the relationships they have, because they don't think they can do better, or could get anyone else, so they settle, and fear being single and having to find anyone else. Now, I am coming up on ...

DISCLAIMER: Angry rant time. Ready?  Here we go! My facebook has been full today of people posting links to articles about misogyny, feminism, and rape culture.  I read them, because I want to see women fighting for what they believe in. And then I just get pissed. They fight generalized statements with ones of their own, and it's such complete bullshit that it makes me want to crack skulls until I knock sense into them. I am a strong, determined, and intelligent woman.  I will fight to my end over something if I feel it is right, and won't back down from anyone.  If I'm ever told I can't do something, I will kill myself learning, just to prove them wrong. I am not a feminist. I will never claim to be. All of the scenarios I read about of blanket statements of misogyny?  I know and have seen the examples that make some people claim them.  Nothing is just a figment of imagination, for any gender.  We've all been fucked up by our interacti...

Now that May is almost over, instead of just banking a ton of entries, I can give a real update. So, my life this month. Got to dance at Spring Caravan, and do a set with all the feels. Finished crocheting a full size blanket, and it is warm and squishy and amazing. Camped, and performed at West Windsor for the first time. Saw a ton of friends. Had sex with Lux.  A lot. Had to compromise with Lux about where he can hit me when I have a performance, so I can cover it up. Did a lot of drawing. Enrolled at Hogwarts.  No, seriously.  I'm doing homework for seven classes. Talked myself out of taking a lot of nudes, because while my dysmorphia is quieter, it's not gone. Helped my folks get ready for their trip out to Chicago. Got a fix of new Dresden Files. Played with chain mail, and learned new weaves. Pouted at Lux, because I wanted more sex. Got pissed off at the gnome. Officially stopped thinking about Thrax most days.  When I do, it's mostly that I...