I've been craving power exchange fairly constantly lately, so I thought I might write about it.
As a switch, I often look at both sides of exchange fairly carefully with any of my partners. I find it is easy for me to figure out what they're thinking, and explain things that relate to them.
Power exchange is inherently that. An exchange.
And oddly enough, and equal one.
Oh yea, that's right. Two people are in a relationship as equals, even if some elements have some extreme skews to them. And that makes those people happy, gives consistency, comfort, and fulfills the needs of both people in the relationship.
On a base level, they are two people who want to take care of one another, with needs that fit together in a way that makes both their lives easier and happier places to be. Power exchange with a partner should feel natural, though the addition of real life is what presents the challenge.
Domly folk enjoy taking care of a person through guidance. They want to see a person flourish, grow, and become something great. Seeing that happen, and knowing they had a hand in it does feed their own ego, but they enjoy simply seeing the person evolve, and rise to their potential. In response, they push themselves to grow, and learn along with their partner, both constantly pushing and reaching new levels of awesome.
Submissives tend to use service as means of caring for their partner. Taking on chores, and tending to the more regular needs of the domlyfolk. This in turn takes a lot of weight off their partner's shoulders, so they can work on taking care in return. They fill the holes the other person has, taking on their weaknesses, and making them both stronger in the long run.
It is a constant cycle of working alongside the other, acting and giving thanks, that shows the appreciation the two have for each other.
And yes, I do believe that both submission and dominance should be earned, but it should be the same as earning a person's trust, care, and love. Show someone that you are honest, that you appreciate them, that you grow from them being there, that you are nothing but yourself around them, and that you will be consistent with them in your life, and it'll bring about a more solid exchange of power than any amount of play could.
Sure, the kneeling, begging, hitting, demands, use, tying, degrading, and force are sexy, but they aren't what inspires the exchange. They aren't what causes that sense of contentment and rightness that we are all searching for. We create that in the everyday exchange we have.
As a switch, I often look at both sides of exchange fairly carefully with any of my partners. I find it is easy for me to figure out what they're thinking, and explain things that relate to them.
Power exchange is inherently that. An exchange.
And oddly enough, and equal one.
Oh yea, that's right. Two people are in a relationship as equals, even if some elements have some extreme skews to them. And that makes those people happy, gives consistency, comfort, and fulfills the needs of both people in the relationship.
On a base level, they are two people who want to take care of one another, with needs that fit together in a way that makes both their lives easier and happier places to be. Power exchange with a partner should feel natural, though the addition of real life is what presents the challenge.
Domly folk enjoy taking care of a person through guidance. They want to see a person flourish, grow, and become something great. Seeing that happen, and knowing they had a hand in it does feed their own ego, but they enjoy simply seeing the person evolve, and rise to their potential. In response, they push themselves to grow, and learn along with their partner, both constantly pushing and reaching new levels of awesome.
Submissives tend to use service as means of caring for their partner. Taking on chores, and tending to the more regular needs of the domlyfolk. This in turn takes a lot of weight off their partner's shoulders, so they can work on taking care in return. They fill the holes the other person has, taking on their weaknesses, and making them both stronger in the long run.
It is a constant cycle of working alongside the other, acting and giving thanks, that shows the appreciation the two have for each other.
And yes, I do believe that both submission and dominance should be earned, but it should be the same as earning a person's trust, care, and love. Show someone that you are honest, that you appreciate them, that you grow from them being there, that you are nothing but yourself around them, and that you will be consistent with them in your life, and it'll bring about a more solid exchange of power than any amount of play could.
Sure, the kneeling, begging, hitting, demands, use, tying, degrading, and force are sexy, but they aren't what inspires the exchange. They aren't what causes that sense of contentment and rightness that we are all searching for. We create that in the everyday exchange we have.
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