Oh the nerdiness it will take to understand that title.
So, I've noticed that in the last year or so, for those that only see me online, or haven't assumed that Lux and I are dating (which we are still quick to clarify that we don't want the formalities, expectations, and obligations that go along with it, and so we are not actually dating) I am constantly asked if I am "looking for someone".
To which, I tell them I'm not, and then I realize that I've never actually been looking for a partner. Even if the pool is small (and I don't think it's ever been a large number at any point), there's always been at least one person. Dating included, before I ever feel like I want a relationship, someone comes along and shows interest. This may however, explain why I dated just as a change of scenery in my teens.
Honestly, I can't imagine going actively looking for a partner, whether for a relationship, or purely for sexual reasons. I have no idea what people do who aren't friends and hook up. I imagine it's full of awkward silence, and the sex never becomes a relaxing way to decompress like when you have someone you are comfortable with. I don't know if they can giggle together while fucking, or curl up and have a cup of coffee afterward. The idea of it seems incomplete; like missing out on half the enjoyment and satisfaction of fucking.
Looking for a relationship seems fairly awkward as well. I wouldn't even know how to go about it. To talk to someone with the mindset of wanting them to fit a specific role in your life, and the needs you have there, and if they don't fit that mold, or cause some instant spark, they are tossed aside without the possibility of fitting some other purpose.
I've always been friends with more men. I find myself to be far more masculine, and so when I talk to men, I just see them all as a possibility of becoming another male friend. Once they hit that point, I may find them as a possible sexual partner, or develop the feels from there. More often than not though, they simply become a friend, however close and important they wind up being. Whatever role they fall into is up to how we mesh together, with no expectations or molds to fit.
So no, I'm not looking for a partner. I am open to having more if they come into my life and happen to respect me and want to become a friend, but I'm not about to go hunting more down any time soon.
So, I've noticed that in the last year or so, for those that only see me online, or haven't assumed that Lux and I are dating (which we are still quick to clarify that we don't want the formalities, expectations, and obligations that go along with it, and so we are not actually dating) I am constantly asked if I am "looking for someone".
To which, I tell them I'm not, and then I realize that I've never actually been looking for a partner. Even if the pool is small (and I don't think it's ever been a large number at any point), there's always been at least one person. Dating included, before I ever feel like I want a relationship, someone comes along and shows interest. This may however, explain why I dated just as a change of scenery in my teens.
Honestly, I can't imagine going actively looking for a partner, whether for a relationship, or purely for sexual reasons. I have no idea what people do who aren't friends and hook up. I imagine it's full of awkward silence, and the sex never becomes a relaxing way to decompress like when you have someone you are comfortable with. I don't know if they can giggle together while fucking, or curl up and have a cup of coffee afterward. The idea of it seems incomplete; like missing out on half the enjoyment and satisfaction of fucking.
Looking for a relationship seems fairly awkward as well. I wouldn't even know how to go about it. To talk to someone with the mindset of wanting them to fit a specific role in your life, and the needs you have there, and if they don't fit that mold, or cause some instant spark, they are tossed aside without the possibility of fitting some other purpose.
I've always been friends with more men. I find myself to be far more masculine, and so when I talk to men, I just see them all as a possibility of becoming another male friend. Once they hit that point, I may find them as a possible sexual partner, or develop the feels from there. More often than not though, they simply become a friend, however close and important they wind up being. Whatever role they fall into is up to how we mesh together, with no expectations or molds to fit.
So no, I'm not looking for a partner. I am open to having more if they come into my life and happen to respect me and want to become a friend, but I'm not about to go hunting more down any time soon.
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