A New Devious Chapter

So, I went to Wicked Faire last weekend, despite having no intention of going.  I also wound up getting snowed into the hotel, along with all of my performer friends who had intended on leaving. Which meant that I stayed far longer than I normally would have, and got to see the entire con go a little insane. While the last concert of the evening was going on, music was playing outside.  This new venue has a large central hub type area, where some rooms even have balconies overlooking the space.  It's really quite beautiful. Music may have turned into a silly dance party. Which then may have turned into Journey.  When everyone came out of their rooms.  And started singing together. Yes, an entire con full of people, all singing and dancing in one giant karaoke type ruckus.  The only word to describe it was magical. With everyone still singing, I was supposed to go play with a friend, who was interested in actually getting to unload and beat me up....

So, last weekend Lux, Nessa, and I went off to Flea.  The whole weekend was a fun time, with lots of giggles, new toys, and a generally chill vibe. I also realized how much Lux and I confuse people. Apparently, I was putting off a very toppy vibe.  As a switch, I usually seem very toppy, but being a tiny female, people sometimes instantly peg me as just a submissive.  I find that how I dress can change this up a lot.  I've stopped wearing collars as a form of jewelry, but will sometimes wear something that is obviously a choker.  Even when wearing more skimpy stuff, there is enough masculinity to how I dress that it stays pretty level. Usually people talk to me like a top, because I generally look at product for my own use.  And if it isn't, I'm generally running off to grab someone else.  I also tend to have obvious energy of how I feel towards those around me.  If there is one thing true about me, it's that I absolutely cannot send mixed s...

So, Lux, being his sexy self, has decided to get into voice porn. If your panties didn't immediately drop, you just don't know him yet. Right now, he's still getting used to it, but he's keeping up with it, and I've been helping him by throwing ideas around, looking over scripts, and listening to recordings to make sure they are up to par. Oh, the horrors of my life, having to make sure my partner who has a super sexy deep voice records things clearly. However shall I deal with this burden? With the release of the fifty shades movie over Valentine's, and with Lux and I going to Flea, we came up with the best plan ever! You see, neither of us likes fifty shades, but it did create a huge pool of terrible parody books. And so, I went hunting. Oh yes!  This is going exactly where you think it is. I found a myriad of terrible parodies, and sent him excerpts from each.  I even sent him one entire series of parodies, because they were that funny.  I...

I was listening to a podcast the other day, and it started discussing the idea of switches in power exchange relationships.  It talked about how a switch can be very capable of having a stable and static dynamic with one person, which I absolutely agreed with, and enjoyed hearing, because a lot of people claim it isn't the case. What I didn't like about it however, was that it very adamantly pushes that switches must have open relationships, and need to have multiple partners so that they can constantly be satiating both sides of a power exchange. And while this may be true for some switches, I absolutely do not fit into that category. I can very happily have one partner, a steady dynamic, and not feel an unwavering need for more.  Admittedly, I do on occasion get slight cravings for the other side when this is the case, just because I haven't had the chance to indulge in it for a while, and it becomes apparent.  Usually, it comes out for a bit in the relationship I...

While talking to some friends recently the conversation turned to this: "We know you're not officially dating [Lux], but how do you deal with him fucking other girls?" "He tells me ahead of time it might happen, and then I yell at him to go rape people, leave giant handprints on their ass for me, and tell me about it afterward." "Wait... you WANT to know?  If I was in a relationship that allowed my partner to fuck around, I wouldn't want to know any of it." "Well, you might be more mentally stable than I." And I meant that honestly.  I have no problem with a partner fucking someone else, or playing with others.  So long as they are consistent with how they treat me, follow basic respectful rules (things like condoms, alerting me of possible new partners) and let me know what happens. I love having the comfort to encourage partners to go elsewhere.  I know they'll come back, and we'll snuggle, and giggle, and have the awe...

I notice a lot of popularity in the scene tends to be around people finding space where they become someone else.  Age regression, Pet spaces, and other forms of dehumanization seem to be everywhere lately, and I'm never quite sure how I feel about it. I know every case is different, but I never know whether to look at it more as having to remove themselves from a situation to embrace sexuality, or that they are so comfortable with themselves that they can be someone else as well. I know that personally, I could never do it.  When it comes to my sexuality, and even switching, I'm always me.  I have to be.  I could be snuggled up with Lux, fixing him coffee, and kneeling at his feet, while giving tasks to another submissive, and never once feel confused or lose myself in the process. I've got a lot of self confidence issues (surprise!) that may have become less apparent, or even barely existent over the years, but have impacted my sexuality as a whole.  I n...

There are many reasons why I do not speak about sexuality, or sex in general with my parents.  The following are a few of those reasons. We have a lot of people in and out of the house normally.  It's always been the case, and lately, we've had the family of my brother's childhood best friend (who is basically my adopted brother) here all the time.  As an adorable side note, their son who is just younger than the beast, is her best friend.  Friendship down generations is the cutest. So, girlfriend of said adopted brother comes over for dinner a few days a week.  She missed one of her normal days, and so we checked in with her, and she said she was at a sex toy party, and would be over that night for leftovers. When she came over, she and my mother were talking, discussing how she intends to throw a party herself, and wants me to go (which I would rather not, for a multitude of reasons), and that she is throwing the party so that she can get the vibrator sh...

Well, since this is my hundredth post to this blog, and it's right around the one year mark, I figure a real update is appropriate. Things have finally calmed down now that all the holidays and birthdays are done.  Now I can focus on learning, and making, and getting myself into a much healthier situation, both physically and psychologically. I've definitely formed the habit of working out every day that I can.  My body is changing, I find myself with more energy, and my flexibility and strength are improving.  It's greatly helping my body image issues to quiet down, and helps my mood a lot over all.  It's also encouraging me to eat better, and not have junk food or huge portions that will bog me down.  Finally, the kick in the ass that I apparently needed to give myself. Lux, Nessa and I are off to a convention for Valentine's Day, and it has me plotting all sorts of things.  I want to print out lots of cute cards, and make cookies, and pack super cu...