While talking to some friends recently the conversation turned to this:
"We know you're not officially dating [Lux], but how do you deal with him fucking other girls?"
"He tells me ahead of time it might happen, and then I yell at him to go rape people, leave giant handprints on their ass for me, and tell me about it afterward."
"Wait... you WANT to know? If I was in a relationship that allowed my partner to fuck around, I wouldn't want to know any of it."
"Well, you might be more mentally stable than I."
And I meant that honestly. I have no problem with a partner fucking someone else, or playing with others. So long as they are consistent with how they treat me, follow basic respectful rules (things like condoms, alerting me of possible new partners) and let me know what happens.
I love having the comfort to encourage partners to go elsewhere. I know they'll come back, and we'll snuggle, and giggle, and have the awesome familiar sex we get to have after learning about each other. Nothing changes, except that they interacted with someone else's bits. And I want to hear about it. No secrets, no hidden details. We'll giggle about it together, and everything is left in the open.
I hate grey areas. Just like I don't ever enjoy playing in a situation where "NO" doesn't mean "NO", I don't want situations of "Well, I want you to be honest and share everything with me. Except this. And this. And this too."
That creates shakes for me. That's where it's unnerving, and jealousy kicks up. These "Don't ask; don't tell" relationships I hear about really get me freaked.
And, I mean, it shows concern. We ask what happens with someone's professional life, their hobbies, their interests and studies. Why wouldn't we want to know the details of their sexual endeavors? Something that can directly relate to our own well-being. We should embrace openness in these areas, so we can feel more comfortable with our own sex lives with our partners.
"We know you're not officially dating [Lux], but how do you deal with him fucking other girls?"
"He tells me ahead of time it might happen, and then I yell at him to go rape people, leave giant handprints on their ass for me, and tell me about it afterward."
"Wait... you WANT to know? If I was in a relationship that allowed my partner to fuck around, I wouldn't want to know any of it."
"Well, you might be more mentally stable than I."
And I meant that honestly. I have no problem with a partner fucking someone else, or playing with others. So long as they are consistent with how they treat me, follow basic respectful rules (things like condoms, alerting me of possible new partners) and let me know what happens.
I love having the comfort to encourage partners to go elsewhere. I know they'll come back, and we'll snuggle, and giggle, and have the awesome familiar sex we get to have after learning about each other. Nothing changes, except that they interacted with someone else's bits. And I want to hear about it. No secrets, no hidden details. We'll giggle about it together, and everything is left in the open.
I hate grey areas. Just like I don't ever enjoy playing in a situation where "NO" doesn't mean "NO", I don't want situations of "Well, I want you to be honest and share everything with me. Except this. And this. And this too."
That creates shakes for me. That's where it's unnerving, and jealousy kicks up. These "Don't ask; don't tell" relationships I hear about really get me freaked.
And, I mean, it shows concern. We ask what happens with someone's professional life, their hobbies, their interests and studies. Why wouldn't we want to know the details of their sexual endeavors? Something that can directly relate to our own well-being. We should embrace openness in these areas, so we can feel more comfortable with our own sex lives with our partners.
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