Kitty and I talked about a lot of things when we were together. A lot of rolling conversations that just flowed. One morning, while still avoiding getting out of bed, he mentioned beatings before coffee and breakfast, which I said isn't an option, because I need to be awake to process and read what's going on properly. He agreed after a minute, and said that morning kidnappings at camp or something would probably work better.
I explained that things like that are how people get stabbed. If someone is in bed with me when I go to sleep, and is supposed to be there, I have no problem being woken up for sex at any point. My mind knows they should be there, and everything is cool. However, if someone wasn't there when I went to bed, and wakes me up, I will wake up swinging, and generally have a lot of weapons within arms reach of where I sleep.
He amusedly understood, and then questioned that middle of the night sex was ok. I was honestly surprised that this even needed to be asked. He is aware of my sex drive, and I've told him in the past about Lux and I winding up waking each other several times throughout the night with regular occurrence. As his argument, he pointed out that it was something between Lux and I, and that it might not carry over. That with that point of view, he should be fluid-bound with all his partners. I pointed out that fluid-bonding with partners is an act of common sense and respect for other partners, and follows its own rules. While he agreed, continued with his point.
And, it became more aware to me how much of Lux and I isn't really things exclusive to us as far as play goes. We obviously have a couple things, whether for his comfort, or out of trust of our dynamic and safety, but the vast majority is simply what I want. Things regarding frequency of sex are on my terms, regardless of the partner, because sex happens when I want it (which is all the time, but still). So long as it doesn't interfere with the few things that either bother the shit out of me, or will get you stabbed, I don't care which of my partners you are, sex is an option. Just like so long as you respect my limits in play, almost everything is on the table to every partner I have. It is a case of me enjoying things, rather than picking apart every dynamic and trying to find all the different things that are only applicable to those relationships.
Sometimes it's a lot to dump all the things on a partner as options, but it's a lot easier to do that than set a million limits and have to lift them up over time, or keep track of what different partners can do.
I explained that things like that are how people get stabbed. If someone is in bed with me when I go to sleep, and is supposed to be there, I have no problem being woken up for sex at any point. My mind knows they should be there, and everything is cool. However, if someone wasn't there when I went to bed, and wakes me up, I will wake up swinging, and generally have a lot of weapons within arms reach of where I sleep.
He amusedly understood, and then questioned that middle of the night sex was ok. I was honestly surprised that this even needed to be asked. He is aware of my sex drive, and I've told him in the past about Lux and I winding up waking each other several times throughout the night with regular occurrence. As his argument, he pointed out that it was something between Lux and I, and that it might not carry over. That with that point of view, he should be fluid-bound with all his partners. I pointed out that fluid-bonding with partners is an act of common sense and respect for other partners, and follows its own rules. While he agreed, continued with his point.
And, it became more aware to me how much of Lux and I isn't really things exclusive to us as far as play goes. We obviously have a couple things, whether for his comfort, or out of trust of our dynamic and safety, but the vast majority is simply what I want. Things regarding frequency of sex are on my terms, regardless of the partner, because sex happens when I want it (which is all the time, but still). So long as it doesn't interfere with the few things that either bother the shit out of me, or will get you stabbed, I don't care which of my partners you are, sex is an option. Just like so long as you respect my limits in play, almost everything is on the table to every partner I have. It is a case of me enjoying things, rather than picking apart every dynamic and trying to find all the different things that are only applicable to those relationships.
Sometimes it's a lot to dump all the things on a partner as options, but it's a lot easier to do that than set a million limits and have to lift them up over time, or keep track of what different partners can do.
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