Proud of weirdness

Thrax only ever tried rope with me once.  He didn't get very far, because I stopped him a few seconds in.  As I watched him trying to tie a simple pair of cuffs, and how badly it was being done, I didn't want to risk the danger involved with letting him continue.  He threw a tantrum as I stopped him, thinking he could manipulate me into letting him be unsafe.  When he realized he wasn't going to work, he grumped his way into the living room, and I grabbed a second bundle of rope before following him.  I threw him one of them, sat on the couch, and told him I would walk him through tying it, and we would both practice by self tying our ankles.

He refused, claiming that by having any part of himself tied was a submissive act, and he refused to submit in any form.  So, basically he refused to learn things.  

I feel like this is far too common a thing with a lot of people out there.  Tops and domly folks who refuse to experience things because it invalidates their claims of being a top.  And worse, if they enjoy it, they can't truly be a domly dom anymore.

I feel like there is as much stigma to being a switch in kink as there is to being bisexual in vanilla society.  That you can't possibly enjoy multiple things, or even worse, identify as something, while not fitting into the cookie cutter box of it.

I am very lucky to have two boys who aren't afraid to try things.  They see everything as something to learn from, and experience, and know it doesn't make them any less by doing so.

Lux and I have been talking recently about how he has trouble finding things that relate to him.  That he isn't afraid to bottom for things, so long as power exchange isn't involved, because he doesn't enjoy submitting.  He however knows that no act has a specific side of power exchange involved with it.  He also knows that enjoying bottoming for something doesn't make him less of a domly dom.

I've been reminding him about how that is something to be proud of.  That he has something on so many other domlyfolks out there just out of the knowledge of this.

We talk about both being put into rope suspensions, and how even though he's tied up too, it doesn't make him any less domly, just like someone else putting me in rope doesn't make me any less of his submissive.  These acts don't create a sliding scale, but just create more things onto the list of what sort of complex being we are.

And every single thing you experience is something to learn from.  Something to inspire you.  Something that helps you understand, and create safety.