It's Valentine's Day soon, and I have very mixed feeling this year.
I'm feeling incredibly lonely lately, and my mental state is much lower than it has been in a while. It's been a long time since I've had any chance to decompress, and longer since I've had real time with my partners to just enjoy them. At the same time, I've been doing as much as I can to help them, as they both have massive stressful things going on, and need presence in whatever ways I can provide.
At the same time, I've pushed aside all the commercial bullshit of this holiday. If it isn't obvious, I don't need a holiday to show people affection, but it gives me an excuse, and a desire to do a ton of little cute and fun things for everyone I care about. No pressure of grand things, or feeling of obligation. However, I want everyone, from just friends, to partners, to feel cared about, because that's incredibly important.
I've decided that holidays aren't worth stress and pressure. That I should have fun with them, and share them in whatever way feels right at the time. It's not worth it anymore to let them drag me down, and without most of the negative influence that made them worse for the longest time, I can try to work toward making them better.
I'm feeling incredibly lonely lately, and my mental state is much lower than it has been in a while. It's been a long time since I've had any chance to decompress, and longer since I've had real time with my partners to just enjoy them. At the same time, I've been doing as much as I can to help them, as they both have massive stressful things going on, and need presence in whatever ways I can provide.
At the same time, I've pushed aside all the commercial bullshit of this holiday. If it isn't obvious, I don't need a holiday to show people affection, but it gives me an excuse, and a desire to do a ton of little cute and fun things for everyone I care about. No pressure of grand things, or feeling of obligation. However, I want everyone, from just friends, to partners, to feel cared about, because that's incredibly important.
I've decided that holidays aren't worth stress and pressure. That I should have fun with them, and share them in whatever way feels right at the time. It's not worth it anymore to let them drag me down, and without most of the negative influence that made them worse for the longest time, I can try to work toward making them better.
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