Wrong Way

I put a lot of focus into trying to instill a good sense of right and wrong when it comes to the wee beastie.  Not just for how she should act, but in the actions of others around her, and what is acceptable, and what she should never allow or back down from.

Unfortunately, my parents are a constant example of everything she should never do or allow.

With very few exceptions, I make sure to respect whenever Squishy says she doesn't want hugs, or when I've snuggled her up too much and she wants a bit of space.  In return, she knows to respect that from me, and while we might pout a little if one says no, it's never meant maliciously.

However, lately she hasn't wanted to hug my parents at all.  They openly treat me with very little respect, and try to force Squishy to show affection when she doesn't want to.  Usually she tries to run away in order to avoid it, and often winds up wanting to hug me.  Every time I ask her, she just says she doesn't want to hug them, and I don't blame her.

If their trying to force her wasn't bad enough, my mother has openly been throwing screaming fits about it, saying that Squishy is acting horribly and taking advantage of her. 

Um, excuse me?

My daughter wants to show affection to those who respect her as a person, and you have a problem with that?

Of course you do, because you see no problem with treating people like shit and acting like it's perfectly fine.

So, I sat Squishy down, and talked to her about gaslighting.  About examples that she's seen, and why it's bad, and that if people ever do it to her, or to others around her, to stand up and fight against it.

I shouldn't have to explain this to an eight year old.  She shouldn't need to be aware of this yet.  And while yes, by the time she's grown, she'll already be strong willed, and be used to fighting against shit like this, she should have that time to be a kid.

And she already does fight back, and she comes to me and asks why some people don't respect when she tells people to back off, and it's hard to keep from just flat out saying that so many people in her life are emotionally abusive, and to never let people like them become a part of her life in the future.

Taking care of an infant was no problem.  Now that she's a person, and I need to prepare her for people in the world, that's the hard part.