With everything going on lately, I'm reminded of how careful we all need to be. That no matter what side of what we're doing, there's a risk with every person we involve.
And while there is a little more to worry about as a bottom, since it adds in the physical risk, so many things are shared.
Both parties need to be responsive in the moment. They need to be honest, and receptive, and unafraid to speak up at any point. Limits need to be respected for everyone, and any aftercare necessary needs to happen, with both parties responsible for it.
What's also important though, is honesty and clarity afterward. I find that many bottoms want to look tough in the moment, and then cry out after. The problem with this is that you never know which one is the truth.
I'm reminded of the time someone accused Lux of beating them beyond their limit and walking away. An accusation made of an event I was in the room for, which was an absolute lie, to the point where we both checked in with her, and not only did she say she was ok, but a short time later said he could have gone harder on her.
And I hate that people like this exist. They create an unsafe environment for everyone around, and it just makes me want to be even more careful about who I play with. Because bottoms who want to cry out become something the scene doesn't let you argue with now. That anything you say will be turned around, and you'll just look more like the bad guy.
I worry so much about all the tops I know. Especially now.
And while there is a little more to worry about as a bottom, since it adds in the physical risk, so many things are shared.
Both parties need to be responsive in the moment. They need to be honest, and receptive, and unafraid to speak up at any point. Limits need to be respected for everyone, and any aftercare necessary needs to happen, with both parties responsible for it.
What's also important though, is honesty and clarity afterward. I find that many bottoms want to look tough in the moment, and then cry out after. The problem with this is that you never know which one is the truth.
I'm reminded of the time someone accused Lux of beating them beyond their limit and walking away. An accusation made of an event I was in the room for, which was an absolute lie, to the point where we both checked in with her, and not only did she say she was ok, but a short time later said he could have gone harder on her.
And I hate that people like this exist. They create an unsafe environment for everyone around, and it just makes me want to be even more careful about who I play with. Because bottoms who want to cry out become something the scene doesn't let you argue with now. That anything you say will be turned around, and you'll just look more like the bad guy.
I worry so much about all the tops I know. Especially now.
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