Happiness is Bullshit

 I've been rewatching Buffy over the last couple of weeks.  A full watch of the series, in order, which is something I don't think I've ever actually done.  It's been good seeing that some of my favorite things are still great, that there are some parts I'm still not fond of, and seeing just how low budget many parts of this were.

But one plot device made me more annoyed than anything, especially with what they continued to do with it as the series went on.

In Season two, the big bad was Angelus.  The true vampire mind of Buffy's boyfriend, Angel, once the soul cursed upon him was removed.  Buffy needs to confront her boyfriend, who is now a merciless sadist, bent on destroying the world, and trying to drive people to madness in the process.

The thing that broke the curse mind you, was one moment of true happiness.  Otherwise he would be forced to constantly suffer with the possession of a soul.

And the thing that causes that happiness?  Taking Buffy's v-card, and the two of them boning for the first time.  

Even after they curse him again, and he returns as Angel, he and Buffy try to secretly work on some manner of relationship, under the pretense that they just can't fuck.

And this, is where I have a problem.  There's a whole lot wrong in the idea that happiness is only born in getting to nut.  That they can share any other moment a couple might have, but can never bump uglies, because that would actually be what made him happy.

It invalidates any asexual connection, as well as the smaller moments that can bring true joy and connection.  Things like sharing activities, taking a nap curled up together, or just creating a calm space, have the opportunity to build just as much, if not more happiness.  It invalidates personal accomplishment, the connection of friendship, or infinite other situations.

It's more of the expectation that sex is the goal, and should be perfect and mindblowing and the source of all good.  And while I do enjoy a lot of sex, it's honestly low on the list of things that have brought me true happiness over my years.

I'm glad this show is old, because we can do so much better.