Near the beginning of the month, Lux and I had a conversation about the idea of No Nut November. That doing things like forcing orgasms, or prohibiting them shouldn't happen, because it stifles us being our sexual selves, in either direction.
And while yes, we should be free to be whoever we are sexually, I think taking chunks of time to explore things with a different framework can be beneficial. Much like how over the years, I've found more enjoyment out of several holidays, by utilizing them in ways that are far from what we've been taught is standard.
Rather than a full month of abstinence from all sexual contact, maybe we need a month where we simply remove orgasm. To encourage contact, physical intimacy, and sex, but without the pressure to have it result in cumming. Rather than a limit, to look at it as a time to explore, enjoy, and bond without that race to the finish that most people find in sex.
For so many people the bar to aim for is simply whether or not you get off, and how quickly you can get there. With the removal of that, most people would feel deterred from any prurient activity, but it could be used for so much more. With zero end goal but discovery, we can see what elicits other responses. Things that relax, or excite, or may be even more of a turn on than what we've already known.
When we remove a habit, or reframe it, we see how much of it was really what we wanted, and more what was simply routine. Over the course of a month, we can see what we actually crave from sex when we stop associating it with orgasm. Arguably, we can wind up learning to enjoy sex more when we think about it beyond a means to an end.
So while yes, we should avoid doing things that stifle our sexuality and ourselves, we should also embrace the opportunity to grow and learn about ourseves in the process.
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