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Clueless and Harmful

 I was sitting in another room one morning in the beginning of the month, having my coffee, and getting myself sorted for the day.  There wasn't anything on in the room I was in, so I could hear everything else going on in the house, and noticed my father mention my mom getting cards for Valentine's Day.  She said she only got a card for him, and didn't get anything for anyone else this year.

And then it started.  He was suddenly super concerned over who was going to get me something this year, asking if it would be Lux.  My mother, in the most condescending tone, commented that he's never gotten me anything for Valentine's ever.  My father was surprised, then asked if Puppy would get me anything.  She said that I wasn't dating Puppy, and they started on about how he seems like he's trying.

Then it turned into them saying that he's already done more for me than Lux ever has, and started a huge shitfest on saying that I'm being strung along, and just used as a backup plan when he feels like it for all these years.

And while I didn't step in there, that was where I got pissed.

Because they spoke as though I'm so dumb and gullible that after eight years, if I wanted something different, I wouldn't speak up for look for it.  That maybe I don't give a shit about getting a stupid piece of paper on a commercial holiday, or a gesture just for the sake of social obligation, and that's why I don't get things for Valentine's.  That maybe I have the relationships I do because I talk to my partner, and we both make the relationship that makes us both happy and healthy.

That in eight years I've never once had a consent issue with Lux, but in four months already dealt with one with Puppy.  That Lux gives me the space to feel, process, and explain, but as soon as I express anything that isn't positive towards Puppy he just pushes towards me to feel happy so he doesn't have to think about me feeling anything else.  Lux has done more good for me than anyone else ever has in my entire existence, and I don't think I'll ever be able to actually show him how grateful I am for it, or the joy he brings me every day just by being a part of my life.

So they can sit together in what is honestly an abusive marriage, and claim to know the situation, and what's going on.  But if I've learned anything over the years, it's that whatever I hear them say about anyone or anything, it's a far better plan to do the opposite.

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