After all of the explosions on all sides, I had two days home to try and get things done before heading out with Rabbit again. I was suddenly dumped with the mental load of a home that expected me to do without any regard for anything, and it was quickly affecting me. Even with everything we were juggling out at Rabbit's, I found it easier on my mental state than just being home for two days. He saw what was happening, and felt badly for me. I explained that this has been what I was raised to think was normal, and he immediately felt stressed about it, and wanted to get me out of the house and moved in with him.
However, we got Squishy home from school, and all packed up to head out. The plan, even with the obstacles, was to have dinner with his parents for Chanukah, and then the next day he could tackle the yard while we cleaned in the house, and then have a Friday dinner at his place. Most of his parents' friends weren't feeling up to celebrating, but we knew that we had to observe to make the point, so we had a small dinner that first night. Squishy enjoyed the difference between their home and ours, and is starting to become more comfortable with being around his parents.
The next day, we got our early errands done, and then got to the house to start digging into getting things cleaned up. Rabbit got started on the back yard, and Squishy was helping me with the inside of the house while we made the space ready for Friday dinner. She was genuinely helpful, and happy to help knowing that we wouldn't ask her to do anything beyond what she could do. When we got to dinner, everyone was there, including Rabbit's friends who live at the house, and it was a full table that had us laughing and joyous while Squishy had kubaneh for the first time and ate almost a full loaf. The evening wound up being long, but enjoyable, and exactly what Rabbit wants to have in the future.
Saturday we got back around noon, and minutes after getting in the door, while I was already running around to get things prepared, my parents had started being difficult. Rabbit saw it, and started to realize that this was in fact what I was taught was normal, and immediately wanted to get me out of the house. I felt a bit overwhelmed afterward, explaining my worry that he wouldn't want to be around them and as a result leave me. I likened it to last year, when I was seeing all of his health issues for the first time, and he was afraid that I would run away, often asking if I loved him enough to stay. He understood in that moment, and while the evening also held some other awkward conversations, we wound up far closer after we were done.
Sunday was Chanukah at my house, and it was immediate where I was either being yelled at for things, or expected to be on top of every detail. Rabbit managed to be incredibly helpful, being able to anticipate some things or to take tasks from me so I could move onto something else. Overall, it was a decent holiday, but I noticed Squishy wanted to hide away the entire evening here.
It was a long weekend, and we learned a lot, but we needed the holiday in order to claim ourselves amidst everything happening, and become closer in the long run.
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