Several of the blogs I follow on Tumblr frequently ask for "confessions". Little anonymous things they've done, sexual or otherwise, without the worry of anyone finding out what they've done.
A good bulk of these have to do with people cheating on their partners, or all manner of going behind their backs, many times ending it with the phrase "What they don't know won't hurt them."
And dear gods, that freaks me out so badly, to the point where I frequently think about unfollowing the blogs.
Even what they believe to be little things like this destroys trust. That line of where honesty sits starts moving, and once you've hidden one thing, you decide to hide so many more. Keeping track of lies or stories, and details that have been omitted.
And it creates a sense of paranoia. If you've hidden these things, and decided to destroy the promises you've made to care for and be honest to a loved one, who's to say they haven't done the same? So you do more out of imaginary vengeance. And it all crumbles down.
It isn't hard to tell your partner your fantasies. To let them know about what you need, and who you are. Letting them know can create comfort and peace of mind with your partner, and may make things even better for everyone involved. And if they are really needs for your life, your partner should understand. If they can't accommodate in some form, they simply may not belong in that part of your life.
It's not hard to be honest, and as someone who has dealt with a ton of lies from partners, I can very clearly say that it does nothing good for anyone involved.
Agreed. Honesty and trust go hand in hand. :)
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