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Last week for Mother's Day, we had a big bbq with all the important family.  Both my siblings were there, my pseudo adopted brother, his fiancé, their son, and some friends of theirs we know, along with their two daughters, which went to the same  day care as the beast before she started kindergarten.

I got to spend Mother's day eating copious amounts of meat and veggies, drinking good beer, and playing in a bounce house.  I also got to harass said pseudo older brother, because it's how I tell him I love him.  Not a bad day honestly.

At one point, pseudo sister-in-law asked how Lux was doing, and I informed her of how he was sick all the week prior.  Her friend asked who we were talking about and she said "[Loki] has a 'friend' named [Lux]" air quotes and all.  She was drunk on fireball at this point.  I asked what the term "friend" was for, and she just said "Y'know, 'friend'... he knows what I'm talking about."

At this point, I stop giving a shit about speaking around anything, and flat out say "You mean my really close friend who is a guy, and I bone?"
To which her friend says "Oh, a friend with benefits" and I completely fall off the conversation.  The term has always kind of bothered me, but that really dug in the wrong way.

I've never really understood why sexual contact provides the title of "benefits" to a friendship, but nothing else.  What if a friend is incredibly inspiring?  What if they always show up when you're not feeling well with your favorite comfort food?  Or if they know how to find something on the regular that improves your day?  These aren't benefits to a friendship? 

It makes whatever is there seem so limited, and throws a friendship into this box that has no room for growth or uniqueness.  All of the people in my life sort of wind up with their own title of friendship, rather than just a box.  Very few people are just a friend to me.

And honestly, saying Lux is a friend seems very incomplete to me.  Even though we aren't formally dating, we definitely treat each other like we're more than friends.  It gets somewhat difficult at times to explain the relationship we have, and even moreso when I can't mention the power exchange that's present.

It goes into that comfort some people feel with having simplicity in things.  They don't want to process things outside of very specific boxes and situations.  Sometimes, those boxes just don't work.