A New Devious Chapter

Generally, I never know when I'm done fucking.  For the longest time, I had partners who couldn't keep up with the amount of sex I wanted.  On top of that, they were done before I'd even gotten warmed up, or I simply didn't wear out.  I never got sore, or tired, or wanted to slow down. Now, I have a Lux, and we both want to fuck all the time, and it's wonderful.  He fucks me way harder than most of my past partners, for a longer amount of time, and has a way bigger dick, so he pretty much fucks my cervix the entire time.  This is also all wonderful.  We're also both the type that as soon as we have the chance, we want to be fucking.  For a while, greeting each other involved getting naked, and being pinned against a wall.  Also wonderful. So, even though I can take a pounding, and I still want to fuck a lot, there are spots that start to get a bit tender.  Either from friction, or Lux pummelling the same spot with the head of his cock for ...

Several of the blogs I follow on Tumblr frequently ask for "confessions".  Little anonymous things they've done, sexual or otherwise, without the worry of anyone finding out what they've done. A good bulk of these have to do with people cheating on their partners, or all manner of going behind their backs, many times ending it with the phrase "What they don't know won't hurt them." And dear gods, that freaks me out so badly, to the point where I frequently think about unfollowing the blogs.  Even what they believe to be little things like this destroys trust.  That line of where honesty sits starts moving, and once you've hidden one thing, you decide to hide so many more.  Keeping track of lies or stories, and details that have been omitted. And it creates a sense of paranoia.  If you've hidden these things, and decided to destroy the promises you've made to care for and be honest to a loved one, who's to say they haven't done...

I read on another blog recently, the finer points of the phrase "Because I said so" in regards to power exchange.  While I could tell what he was talking about, there was a lot of reiteration of the same points, and talking in circles. However, it immediately made me think of how that phrase is a great way to look at the differences between the power exchange I had with Thrax, and what I have now with Lux. Thrax ran his dommypants attitude with "Because I said so".  He just figured being the domly person was a way to get me to say and do whatever he wanted, regardless of my comfort, who I was, or how I felt, and then not have to do anything about it.  He'd ignore everything I said most of the time, until it was what he wanted to hear, or try to reprimand me for not giving him the desired answer to questions. It was childish.  Like the beast stomping her feet saying she didn't want to eat what I'd given her because I put butter on it instead of tomato ...

The next three weeks are going to involve a lot of running around for me, and it's mostly all good things. Notice: this is being written a week before it goes live.  I will try to adjust as necessary, and multiple plans of action will be discussed.  There will be fun updates about what does occur after things calm down again. So, as you read this, I'm hopefully on my way to spend a long weekend with Lux.  While I generally avoid leaving my house on Memorial day weekend due to where I live, I'll be travelling in the opposite direction as everyone else, and it's to spend some much needed time relaxing.  I'm not quite sure what the plan is yet, but it'll be good for us both. On the off chance that doesn't work, I'll be spending the long weekend with some family who I haven't seen for a while.  Both these plans are fun, but I'm really hoping for some time to have fun with Lux. Next weekend, is war camp, which will involve camping out in the woods...

Last week for Mother's Day, we had a big bbq with all the important family.  Both my siblings were there, my pseudo adopted brother, his fiancé, their son, and some friends of theirs we know, along with their two daughters, which went to the same  day care as the beast before she started kindergarten. I got to spend Mother's day eating copious amounts of meat and veggies, drinking good beer, and playing in a bounce house.  I also got to harass said pseudo older brother, because it's how I tell him I love him.  Not a bad day honestly. At one point, pseudo sister-in-law asked how Lux was doing, and I informed her of how he was sick all the week prior.  Her friend asked who we were talking about and she said "[Loki] has a 'friend' named [Lux]" air quotes and all.  She was drunk on fireball at this point.  I asked what the term "friend" was for, and she just said "Y'know, 'friend'... he knows what I'm talking about." At t...

There are certain terms I have problems with.  I always have, and it's something that's always turned me off to partners, and just make me feel awkward.  I have actually completely turned down potential partners due to their incessant use of these terms, because I really can't get past them. The one that causes the most issue for me, is being referred to as "bad" or "naughty".  In the same line as my dislike of punishment as a form of play, I don't want what I'm doing to be considered ill, then have it be enjoyed.  If it was bad, you wouldn't want me to do it again.  You wouldn't smile from it.  There would be no rejoicing involved, or reinforcement.  My open acknowledgement of my sexuality isn't naughty.  I don't want my behavior to be considered taboo, but rather simply being me expressing my comfort with myself.  If I stole your food, or the last beer from the fridge, that would be naughty.  If I hid something you wanted to ...

I've always enjoyed the English language.  Written word especially is something that has been a hobby of mine, and how to correctly articulate exactly what I wish to.  I read books on grammar for fun, despite that I now cringe when listening to others speak, or reading most of what they type up.  When I was in middle school, and high school, I made extra money editing for friends.  Sometimes it was college essays, and others it was fanfiction.  At one point I was devoting a few evenings a week to editing erotica for folks, back in my Gaia days. I have to say that it's made me fairly numb to reading any sort of smut at this point.  No matter how descript, sexual aspects of writing tend to get me bored rather than turned on, and I find myself wanting more from it. And that's the case with a lot of porn.  I find myself bored of it, giggling at it, or just wanting it to feel more complete.  Sexual content as a whole does very little for me, in most...

Last weekend, Lux and I had a fantastic time at Spring Caravan.  There were some really wonderful performances, we got to see awesome people, and I got myself a new dress as a Mother's day present. I really do love the vibe of this event.  It's just chill, and fun, with a lot of great things to see, but not nearly as crowded as Rakkasah East in the fall.  And working back stage at the end of the night like I have been basically just means a mini dance party. However, after dancing until late at night, and getting back up to our room exhausted, Lux woke up Sunday completely fucked with how sick he was.  After he barely made it back to my place, he promptly passed out in my bed, and I informed him that he wouldn't be going home until he felt better.  So I spent two days snuggled up and taking care of him.  And he couldn't talk, so he couldn't tell me no, or complain that I was doing too much for him.  Honestly, I was happy to spend the extra time with...

A few months ago I talked about kitty.  My best friend through many of my formative years, who held my hand, and I held his, until he chose to side with a girl he was with, in an attempt to stubborn through and make a relationship succeed after his failed marriage. Well, they broke up, he has realized that he is not meant for stubborning his way through monogamy for the picket fence dream, and has found partners who are more accepting of him, and the past we have. And yes, that means he has started talking to me again.  We've caught up just enough to be up to speed on current goings on, but it's like we were never really gone.  Do I even need to mention how fantastic this is?  It only took him five minutes to say how much he missed talking with me, and how much better he feels after contacting me. So, now for the super sappy crap that probably no one will feel like reading. I don't believe in "true" love.  I don't believe in love at first sight.  I do b...