Christmas was just the emotional clusterfuck I expected it to be. My family, despite the reminders through several situations, forgot to get me any gifts. Now, while I figured this would happen, and don't care much about getting things, I've talked recently on how it feels to be forgotten, and considering that I've been busting my ass to make everything they want happen, to not be a thought is a bit of a kick in the teeth.
And to top it off, the beast noticed. After opening all her gifts, she looked around at everyone sitting with boxes and bags in front of them, and me with nothing at the table. She asked why Santa didn't bring me anything, but did for everyone else. She said that I've been good, and took good care of her, and deserved a mountain of presents, and didn't know why Santa missed me.
And my parents stayed silent, leaving me to explain to my six year old without ruining Santa, that my parents are asshats.
I vented to a lot of people. Kitty and I talked about how he's wanted to get me away from them for a long ass time. To make myself feel better, I locked myself away and dug into my scrap yarn stash. I made a silly Cthulhu plush dressed as Jayne Cobb.
Then, I went on an adventure, to spend a week with Lux. Far away from them, and spending time with someone that means the world to me. With lots of plans to see his friends up here, spend time with his coworkers being nerds, and finally seeing Star Wars.
And of course, lots of sex and silliness. He's got a bit of a cold, but we're making sure to really enjoy the time we have. Not in crazy ways, but with simple things. Home cooked food on a snowy day, and take out and video games while snuggled on the couch. Those times that don't make for stories, but kill the stress and mean the world.
It's good for me, and him too.
And soon after, I'll have some more time with Kitty. Much needed time for him, since his primary will be gone for a month, and I'm sure he'll be needing snuggles and affection.
The wonderful people in my life continue being wonderful, and shitty people become worse than ever. No one changes, and that can be a good or a bad thing.
Man, that just sucks. I can't imagine having to deal with that, let alone explain it to my child.
ReplyDeleteI hope that you can get out from them soon.