A New Devious Chapter

While at Pennsic, Lux and I had to have lots of talks about the other people we were looking at doing things with. Now, generally we're pretty chill about other partners happening, just keeping reminders to be careful, and discussing the possible happenings with any of them.  When we need to put our foot down on someone, it's usually because they're having a serious negative effect, or may be harmful to the other. So, I had a very short, not real beating from a friend of ours the night we got on site.  That, and the time being tied by Murphy were totally cool with Lux, not only because we know how incredibly safe they are, but because he was present for the majority of it. He did however, feel nervous about the fire spinner that is super pretty.  He knows I can handle myself if shit goes down, but didn't know exactly what to expect that I had wanted (literally just to touch his butt, and not sex) because he usually goes right to wanting to fuck.  Even when I re...

I had a lot more time put into rope over Pennsic.  I watched a lot of different people get tied who reacted very differently, and definitely learned quite a bit more about my preferences in rope itself. I also got to see Lux get suspended.  In a yurt. For those of you not aware, Lux is a big brick wall of man who is over 300lbs.  And he went into the air, and got inverted and loved every minute.  It was super cool to watch, and is now the source of a lot of silliness and jokes and plans, but more on that later. However, I learned that I enjoy the challenge of rope.  I like feeling that pressure, and thinking to myself that I'm on a ride, and need to muscle through.  I absolutely prefer not being able to move, rather than a freedom of movement, and having to be careful of it.  That adventure of being put into place, and not knowing which way I'll be turned or twisted is fun, and makes for a super interesting ride with the top. I still don't spac...

On the ride out to Pennsic, I apparently brought on what was the best rant from Lux ever. See, the fire spinner than I thought was super pretty last year?  Well, he and I started talking, and becoming friends, and I totally had plans to hang out with him and wanted to touch his butt.  Well, because Lux is bad with names, instead of calling him by his name, I simply referred to him as "cute boy". Well, apparently this was confusing for him, and struck a nerve.  The most adorable nerve ever. He went off.  About how for the longest time he was the cute boy, and how sometimes I say Kitty is cute, and he deals with that.  But that I've been saying I've been making plans with a cute boy, and talking about something with a cute boy, and he knows I don't mean him, and probably don't mean Kitty, and so which boy is cute boy in these situations. It went on for about ten minutes, and the entire time I giggled, feeling badly for making him feel less like he is the...

I'm home from Pennsic, and this year was really fantastic.  Lux and I had a much better time than last year, and I felt far more comfortable over all.  Things moved a lot more smoothly, and it was a load of fun. My class went well, and I got in a lot of other solid classes.  Only one was a little disappointing, but the rest were all super fun and I picked up a few cute new things.  Unfortunately, we didn't spend anywhere near as much time at parties this year, so straight up dancing time was a lot lower than last year, but we still had fun nonetheless. The weather kicked everyone's ass.  It was so hot and humid that they were cancelling the heavy battles, and people were dropping left and right.  Most afternoons Lux and I would just lay next to each other, wanting to show affection, but avoiding contact.  The phrase "Don't touch me" became a joke for a few days, due to how gross it was.  With the exception of the first night, when we were clin...

This should be the last post prepped up before Pennsic.  You get fresh new stuff soon hopefully. And, speaking of which, this one is looking super busy for me, despite my previous entries! I've got eleven hours of dance classes across three days, a big dance show, and a munch to attend.  Parties at night, and lots of people I want to find time with. I want to find time to walk the camp and take pictures to show everyone. And now, my friend Ogre and Lux both want playtime with me, and are determined to beat me up.  Which, I'm certainly not going to complain about if it happens.  I'm looking forward to actually getting in play time again.  It should be really fun, and while it might be a project to cover the marks, I'll make due. I've also been talking to the cute boy from last year, and I'm pretty determined to touch butts.  I am however terrible at showing attraction toward someone until I develop enough mutual comfort with them to just be awkward...

I often feel like I'm cheating, or losing out on big adventures, because I very rarely do things with a lot of expectation.  It's probably a bit due to everything in the past, but as time has gone on, I've just stopped making a lot of expectations in regards to anything, because more often than not, I'm met with disappointment. For the last while, I've been getting messages, or hearing from Lux that he wants to make something of his Pennsic.  He wants to do this, or that, or focus on this for the week.  Like he has this mountain of fantasies to pack into our trip. And while I'm planning on attending a lot of classes, I know they're all feasible to me.  So long as it isn't too hot, I'll be tired at the end of the week, but they just depend on me taking a short walk every day.  I'd like to walk the grounds and take pictures one afternoon when I get the time, but again, that's just dependent on me finding time to mosey about around everythin...

On my birthday, Lux handed me two bags of fabric.  See, he needed a ton of new tunics that actually fit his arms, and he didn't make any.  That left me with two weeks to make him tunics to wear for a week. Luckily, I did most of my personal packing well beforehand.  He questioned it when I did it.  I'm sure he's happy now. And my brother came to visit. Which means that with the beast home, and my brother visiting, I had to sew eleven tunics, most of which is from fabric he ordered and had mailed to me after he handed me the initial bags. Needless to say, I was running around like a headless chicken, knowing I would get it all done, but still worried that I might not have the time to get it all done.  But he'll be comfortable, and feel much better in things that fit him properly.  And in turn, I get to feel accomplished in knowing that he enjoys everything I've made for him. There's service in everything, and just that makes me happy. I'm really ...

Lux had kind of a hard time on his birthday at a few points.  A couple of his exes decided to message him, and then started conversations, and by the next day, it was getting to him.  We talked about how he wants to be able to just let things happen, and not feel paranoid or territorial, and how staying quiet just doesn't work.  How acknowledging things, and keeping up with that transparency of feelings will do a world more good, and probably keep issues to a minimum, or remove them over time.  We talked about how he hates to feel like he's just an extra person who sometimes gets noticed, and while he doesn't mind being his partners having other people, he needs to feel like he's a priority in things, rather than just an occasional convenience. I told him about how I know he's very aware that I'm never going anywhere, and am not going to magically change and ignore him, there's still a part of his brain that is paranoid about it because of his past partn...