I will fully admit, that there are some things out there that will make someone completely incompatible for me. They won't stop me from being friends with a person, but I know myself enough to know that certain traits will kill any chance of attraction happening.
Lux and I have a lot of friends in the rope scene, and it's often an awkward thing for him, because he will start to talk to people, and develop some amount of interest, but as soon as he says he doesn't tie, they immediately distance themselves from him for any sort of play or anything. Despite the fact that they might also be masochists, or enjoy power exchange, or any number of other things, because he doesn't enjoy rope topping, they won't give him the time of day in regards to any play.
I've dealt with similar things in a few cases, but not nearly as much as him.
A friend of ours, who has voiced having no attraction towards Lux met a boy while at camp recently. Despite making countless promises that she'd take her time, within a week, they were officially dating, barely knowing each other outside surface attraction and play.
I know, don't judge, but there's enough here about me to know that I don't like that behavior.
Well, apparently boy is pansexual, but heteroromantic. Apparently she super gets off on him showing attraction towards other boys, and is happy that it's only a sexual attraction. Actually said those words.
She was also super proud of herself, as she announced to me that she was playing middle man to getting this boy and Lux to hook up.
Yup, she's not only fetishizing her own boyfriend, but my partner, who she previously had no attraction for because he doesn't tie, now thinks is hot because he wants to stick his dick in her partner.
Needless to say, Lux and I are both a bit put off by this.
We talked after.
I asked if it was weird that I don't really think anything about his bisexuality, because it's so common to either fetishize it, or be upset over it. I on the other hand simply like checking out boys together with him, and like making silly jokes.
He told me that it's the most respectful response to his sexuality. That he doesn't like being simplified down to fucking guys, in whatever way it happens.
There are so many aspects to who we are. Even if I may not be attracted to someone, if we develop a friendship, we might still play just as a way to spend time together, and share an experience. And regardless of all of that, someone's sexuality is barely a consideration to me, because they're a person first, and I'm attracted to that.
There is no sexuality based compersion. There is simply compersion. And there is seeing people as people first and being attracted to that.
Lux and I have a lot of friends in the rope scene, and it's often an awkward thing for him, because he will start to talk to people, and develop some amount of interest, but as soon as he says he doesn't tie, they immediately distance themselves from him for any sort of play or anything. Despite the fact that they might also be masochists, or enjoy power exchange, or any number of other things, because he doesn't enjoy rope topping, they won't give him the time of day in regards to any play.
I've dealt with similar things in a few cases, but not nearly as much as him.
A friend of ours, who has voiced having no attraction towards Lux met a boy while at camp recently. Despite making countless promises that she'd take her time, within a week, they were officially dating, barely knowing each other outside surface attraction and play.
I know, don't judge, but there's enough here about me to know that I don't like that behavior.
Well, apparently boy is pansexual, but heteroromantic. Apparently she super gets off on him showing attraction towards other boys, and is happy that it's only a sexual attraction. Actually said those words.
She was also super proud of herself, as she announced to me that she was playing middle man to getting this boy and Lux to hook up.
Yup, she's not only fetishizing her own boyfriend, but my partner, who she previously had no attraction for because he doesn't tie, now thinks is hot because he wants to stick his dick in her partner.
Needless to say, Lux and I are both a bit put off by this.
We talked after.
I asked if it was weird that I don't really think anything about his bisexuality, because it's so common to either fetishize it, or be upset over it. I on the other hand simply like checking out boys together with him, and like making silly jokes.
He told me that it's the most respectful response to his sexuality. That he doesn't like being simplified down to fucking guys, in whatever way it happens.
There are so many aspects to who we are. Even if I may not be attracted to someone, if we develop a friendship, we might still play just as a way to spend time together, and share an experience. And regardless of all of that, someone's sexuality is barely a consideration to me, because they're a person first, and I'm attracted to that.
There is no sexuality based compersion. There is simply compersion. And there is seeing people as people first and being attracted to that.
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