I spent some time curious.
Seeing what other people are writing about when it comes to a few of the things I want to teach. Taking ideas to help adapt classes, and build them in a more accessible way.
Except, a lot of what I saw on similar subjects were near the complete opposite.
Things like how to speak to dominants in a pleasing way.
How not to get angry with a dom.
How to ask for things without annoying a dom.
Just a pile of things that slowly made me frustrated.
All of these things muddle communication. They dismiss emotions, and create an assumptive and unhealthy scale for a relationship. They felt like my dynamic with Thrax, where I had to say what he wanted regardless of how I felt. That my frustration with his lies and bringing them up was wrong. That my constantly asking for what I needed, or things he promised should have just been ignored.
Even if it isn't straight abuse, it doesn't help encourage any sort of healthy communication and strength.
This is why I am teaching what I do.
Because we should be able to just talk to our partners, with only slight modification for moments of heavily acknowledged power exchange. We should be ourselves, and address needs, and even wants until they are at least noticed, if not tended to. We should be free to get frustrated and angry with people, because conflict does happen, and we need to know how to handle these things in a civil fashion.
I speak to Lux with lots of sass, and very comfortably. I however, feel free to address my needs, and trust him to listen. And to be honest, it lets me trust him with more than I would anyone else, and I know when to speak more respectfully, or tone things down.
We are people first and foremost, and want to encourage that in a healthy way before building onto that. I'm a strong person, which he sees every day. I'm just his strong person.
Seeing what other people are writing about when it comes to a few of the things I want to teach. Taking ideas to help adapt classes, and build them in a more accessible way.
Except, a lot of what I saw on similar subjects were near the complete opposite.
Things like how to speak to dominants in a pleasing way.
How not to get angry with a dom.
How to ask for things without annoying a dom.
Just a pile of things that slowly made me frustrated.
All of these things muddle communication. They dismiss emotions, and create an assumptive and unhealthy scale for a relationship. They felt like my dynamic with Thrax, where I had to say what he wanted regardless of how I felt. That my frustration with his lies and bringing them up was wrong. That my constantly asking for what I needed, or things he promised should have just been ignored.
Even if it isn't straight abuse, it doesn't help encourage any sort of healthy communication and strength.
This is why I am teaching what I do.
Because we should be able to just talk to our partners, with only slight modification for moments of heavily acknowledged power exchange. We should be ourselves, and address needs, and even wants until they are at least noticed, if not tended to. We should be free to get frustrated and angry with people, because conflict does happen, and we need to know how to handle these things in a civil fashion.
I speak to Lux with lots of sass, and very comfortably. I however, feel free to address my needs, and trust him to listen. And to be honest, it lets me trust him with more than I would anyone else, and I know when to speak more respectfully, or tone things down.
We are people first and foremost, and want to encourage that in a healthy way before building onto that. I'm a strong person, which he sees every day. I'm just his strong person.
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