The Wrong Excuse

 I've been finding myself doing more online social things lately, and while I'll talk about that more, and what it's doing for me later, there's a more particular incident I want to talk about.

Even though I don't live in the direct vicinity of DC, because I'm friends with a good number of people who were going to be in attendance, I decided to join in on the poly brunch zoom call.  It wound up relatively small, which made me feel better about more open social things.  Going into the pandemic, I wasn't sure how they would work, because I figured it would be far too many people to have a decent conversation going.  

I found myself getting a handful of DMs though, and one of which was from someone who was sitting in on the call with no video or mic on.  In fact, he said nothing to anyone the entire time I think, except for me.  He attempted some horrible attempt at small talk and hitting on me through DMs, and very quickly asked me if I planned on attending any events soon.  I made it clear that I don't meet up with people unless I've known them for a while, and that he needed to actually put in work to create some manner of friendship.

Then, I checked online and saw that while he was on Fetlife, he had no pictures of himself, no friends, and no profile.  On top of that, he was only part of groups for personal ads, and had responded to an in person event, saying that he was attending it.  Then, in the middle of my being polite and trying to make a conversation, he just writes that he's introverted, so it was hard for him to talk.

I'm sorry, I don't think this word means what you think it means.

Being introverted doesn't mean you can't talk to people.  It doesn't mean you need to hide your identity, and it doesn't mean that you are a blank slate.  All that it means is that social interaction is draining overall, which is something that I find too many people don't understand.  Most of the people I am friends with are introverted, and they know how to hold a conversation, and present themselves.

There's a massive difference between being shy, being socially awkward, being a damned creep, and being an introvert.  There's some very normal etiquette to having an internet presence, especially when it's a part of how you put yourself out there to meet others.

At least sometimes the creeps and people who aren't worth it are easy to weed out.