I was recently talking to a vanilla friend who went through a hard breakup last year. While chatting about various things, he mentioned acknowledging that he's polyamorous, and intending to explore that space once he's ready to date again. I extended the offer to share what I know, my experiences, and help him sort of navigate what he thinks he's looking for before he actually starts looking, so it's easier for him to be clear with any possible future partners.
And then I mentioned to him something that I hadn't really considered. With dumping Kitty, and only having one partner, it's strangely going to make it more difficult to find additional partners. One very long term partner can be intimidating to other people, who may think they're going to be tossed aside, or treated like they're unimportant next to the older partner. It doesn't matter that they're wrong, and it shows that they aren't worth trying with, but it's a logical thought to go to.
More than one partner, even long term shows some aptitude in balancing multiple partners, and doesn't make such a feeling of hierarchy. Even if I would have less time to give, I would be able to clearly show that I can hold boundaries to care for more than one person.
It's silly, but it's accurate. Luckily, by trying to stick to my normal method of letting connection form through more friendship methods, people will hopefully understand that those worries are silly, and won't care that I have a long term partner that I'm quite happy with and attached to. It's probably the less conventional way to go about poly, and certainly the less convenient, but I have no idea how I would go about it otherwise, what with my weird brain.
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