Maintenance

 I intend to take more classes than I often actually get to.  Sometimes I forget to go looking for them, or sometimes life happens and I forget that there was even a class that day until the evening, when I realize it ended six hours earlier.

When I do get to them, it's a mixed experience.  There are times when I know I'm going in just to get information to better help my own classes, with seeing how things are worded, or finding points that I would only touch on, but should instead make a focus.  There are also classes that I find go far too 101 for anyone to really feel engaged with.

Sometimes though, we get classes that cover things that we know going in, but are the right reminder at the right time.  And I had one of those recently.

Around the same time as what happened in my last post, I sat in on a class about owning one's submissive identity.  It didn't cover many topics that were earth-shatteringly new, but instead posed questions that encouraged finding your own unique self in whatever orientation, and negotiating that in a way that made everyone feel like they have a voice.

At the same time, I had remembered Lux mentioning that he had some different feelings on things like dynamics versus scenes, and how he wanted to go about them.  We hadn't really talked about that in depth at the time though.  Top that with a reminder of suggesting to him that we update the negotiation document we have (which we never really finished when we started it) but have pushed aside, and there's a good amount of things we should cover.

The class had a good focus on feeling secure in communication, and making sure that wants and needs are met without judgement on what that looks like in the ideal.  And as I sat through the class, I definitely had a lot of general feels.  Feels that we haven't really gone through this together in a long time.  The worry that we've just sort of become complacent over time and haven't sort of tuned things to where we are now.  That we've let too much slide into limbo of not really serving us in the way that can help us both be better, happier people together.

I mentioned to him the next day that we needed to talk about all of it, and while it wasn't for any bad reason, and wasn't urgent, it should definitely be done.  Hopefully it doesn't wind up sitting for too long, and we can do some tweaking that we may not have really been aware of, and create something that we both deserve.