What's Right

 A couple of weeks ago, Puppy was out to visit again.  There was a small ren faire at a nearby historic village, and we had rescheduled our session of D&D due to some conflicts.  When I asked around to who else was going, another friend, Rabbit, said he intended to be there.  I informed everyone that we'd be attending with Squishy in tow, because she was going to be home that weekend, and it was a plan.

And that weekend, I got the reminder of how often I take the role of guide, and step up in whatever way is necessary.  The night before the faire, Puppy couldn't make a single decision about what we would do with the evening.  Because he's not as familiar with things in the area anymore, I tried throwing ideas at him that he hasn't known about, but he had the same approval of them all, rather than having one that jumped out.  Eventually I just told him to head to a place down the road that I knew he'd enjoy, as well as having to make the final decision on everything else we did that evening.

At the faire, while I let Squishy take the lead so that she could have more fun, I wound up becoming the overall guide for the three of us until we met up with Rabbit, and then sort of became the leading voice of everyone in the group.  I stepped into the role I have for so much of my life,  with the exception of when I'm with Lux, or clearly supposed to be in a submissive role.  I've learned that many of the people in my life want to be with someone who will take charge, and while I may not want to have the partnership they're looking for, I can be the friend who speaks up and provides in a healthy way.

Even when we finished the game later that night, I had to step in because of Puppy doing some things that were clearly favoritism.  I don't think that he understood the entire concept of what I had to say, which I've mentioned before given his difficulty in conversations with me.  However, I needed to cut him off, and try to change things to balance them out, for both my own sake of knowing I'm doing the right thing, and in being fair to the other players, whether or not they realized what happened.

Leading is not about being the loudest or the most powerful.  It's about being able to think ahead on the fly, and know what's needed for everyone.