Less Frequent Shapes

 Recently, I found a random post that I needed to keep open for a little while to just appreciate.  It was something that spoke about all the different types of intimacy, by listing all the little things that happen that do in fact count.

And it made me happy, because as I navigate the possibility of not experiencing romance, seeing the various forms of connection and intimacy is incredibly important.  I've always held more appreciation for random smaller gestures, and how that builds relationships.  

I remember while with the gnome, whenever he would try to have sex, he would claim he was trying to be intimate and romantic.  That was all that his idea was, and I think that's the norm.  That unless it's people doing things physically naked, it doesn't count.

But intimacy exists in little moments.  In remembering little details about a person, or sharing stories.  Making your favorite recipes, or watching movies.  It exists when we sing poorly together, and hold hands, or share clothes.  Ordering food to share, having inside jokes, and being transparent about medical information, it's all intimate.

We are intimate when we share ourselves.  When we stop trying to look like perfect beings, and just are.  Those moments where we let ourselves experience real emotion, and share that, in however long a moment it is.

And that, honestly, is what I have craved from connection my entire life.  With a lack of romantic flavor, I can see why I preferred my friendships to the relationships I quickly started in my youth.  Those friendships held intimacy that the relationships never did, and it's likely why they ended so soon.

I don't know if I'll ever understand why people fear that, because all those little moments, and all those little intimate expressions, are what makes connection worth it.