There are some things, that I don't necessarily blame on being Agender, but might in part be a biproduct. And some of those things are hard more often than not.
Being AFAB means I means that people make assumptions and have expectations about any male friends I have. Likewise, being far more masculine for as long as I can remember, means that I've had mostly guys as friends for as long as I can remember. Possibly as an advantage of being AFAB, I've managed to make a lot of those friendships more intimate than would be expected from two cis-men, feeling more comfortable with sharing and providing support.
It's been a wonderful thing in my life that I'm grateful for, getting to have those unique connections that many people never benefit from.
But like all things, there's a balance. In return, I wind up being something that a lot of women are threatened by. Like people don't deserve more than one intimate relationship, even if it's platonic, and in no way a threat to whatever they have. It means that a lot of friends disappear from me, and I don't really get a choice, or have done anything wrong.
Luckily for them, I'm also loyal to a fault to anyone I build a connection with, so if things fall apart, I often wind up knowing when to step right back in, and can provide that safe feeling of intimacy again. They never really expect it, but I return, having learned even more, and grown into someone who has a better idea of healthy support, and can help them find themselves again, and the things that make them so passionately who they are.
I can only hope that as I get older, more people will realize that I'm not here to take anyone from anyone else. In fact, I want to see them become better, so they can be better for whoever else they're around.
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