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Still stuck, and walking away

 It took a bit, but I finally took a bit of time to talk to Puppy about what happened.  And, it went as well as I should have expected it to.

While he opened with asking how I was feeling, immediately after I started saying that I was healing, he sent a message saying that he didn't mean to hurt me.

And that's great and all, but I wouldn't do anything with him, let alone be friends with him, if I thought he had any intention of bringing me harm.  Not to mention that regardless of what he meant, it doesn't mean it didn't happen.  I tried talking to him about it all, and getting him to understand the severity of what happened.  I also mentioned the trauma response that I had the morning I left, and rather than understanding, he thought me running was the trauma.

In response, he decided to use that moment to admit to having had feels for me, which I knew.  He thought that was a way to apologize somehow, and I just got quiet, because I didn't know how to respond at that point.  He had derailed things beyond the point of an apology already.

He was acting like he was more concerned about us still fucking in the future than if I was ok.  And that's when he made the biggest mistake.  He flat out said that my leaving made him feel like an abusive husband, like he was claiming victimhood in all of it.  Sorry, after I'm injured and dealing with a lack of concern, you don't get to say that you're the grieving party.

I still couldn't respond, because how do you at that point.  He took the same sort of move that the gnome did after my rape, and while taken aback for a moment, it made me angry more than anything.

At which point I was done.  He didn't give a shit, he hadn't learned with time, and he wasn't worth it.  He couldn't own up to what he'd done, and cared more about his feels than what had happened, or making good on being better in the future.

I'll deal with him as little as I need to, in order to cut ties completely.

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