A New Devious Chapter

 I swear, this is the last post about Rabbit and I starting a relationship.  There's just been a lot going on with it, and most of it has been funny. The day we decided to be official, Rabbit had to go to dinner with his mom.  She had been poking at him not so gently for a while, and while we had a joke about waiting to tell his parents, he wanted to give her some good news. So while they're sitting and having dinner, he stops the conversation, and tells her that we're together.  She is smiling, but stern faced, and he asks about her response.  She says that she's happy that he's happy.  He questions it again, and she mentions that his dad had concerns about my age.   Now, Rabbit has been working at renn faires for a long time (it's how we originally met) and most of his friends are older.  A lot older, to the point where Rabbit's roommate has a couple of decades on him.   Rabbit looks at his mom and asks how old she thinks I am....

 The movie we went to see by the way was Clerks Three.  As we're both from Jersey, all the Kevin Smith movies are important parts of our culture.  Specifically for this series, it's all a testament to different stages of life, with characters who aren't the most proactive.  They're flawed, but they're loyal, and they all have very different stories. It turned out to be more sad than we expected, and when we went home, we thought about the loss that occurred, and how that made us feel about things that have happened with us.  I gave Rabbit directions back to my place, and when we got on the highway, I started thinking.  One of the biggest themes in all of the movies is showing ambition.  Not waiting until a perfect moment, but being proactive in deciding what you want, and taking the risk, because you don't know what'll happen. So when we got back to the house, and curled up in bed, we talked about it.  I told him that I didn't know how I was going...

 It was just after the start of the school year, and Rabbit was at my place for what was seeming to turn into a weekly visit.  We sat on the porch Wednesday morning after Squishy had gone off to catch the bus, and I definitely noticed that he was a little off.  And we sat there, curled up, sipping coffee, when he told me he had something to say.  He prefaced it by saying he was aware that it was full of red flags, then told me that he had some feels.  He said that he would be ok if I didn't want to see him for a while, but wanted to make sure he told me, because he always wants to be transparent with me. He explained that when he realized the feels were there, he took apart the thoughts, and did some introspection to see if it was real.  To see if it was some sort of physical or emotional rebound.  Every time he followed a trail, he realized needs had been met elsewhere earlier.  At the end of the line, was just that he liked the dynamic that was ...

 We're getting through the holidays as of this going live.  We've managed past Rosh Hashanah, and getting through Yom Kippur, which my family usually doesn't observe.  This year though, it seems especially appropriate. There was a lot of wiping things away this year.  Removing people, changing priorities, and sorting out my own life.   I think spending so time in contemplation of that, and everything that needs to be left behind is healthy, and a good use of this time of year, before we gear up for everything happening in the winter months.  How I want to change, what I want to keep up with, and what I need to put down and push away. And there is a lot that I plan to pick up.  A lot that might be changing soon, and some things that are going to be very different for me. But this year deserves to have a lot wiped away.  A lot of bad, and a lot of things that I let slide that I should never have.  And so this coming year I want to focus mo...