Something Shared

 Part of being demisexual, at least for my particular case, involves not getting any enjoyment out of watching others have sex.  Normal types of pornography usually turn me off, or only make me laugh at best, but have never turned me on.  However, aspects of kink I enjoy that don't involve traditional sexual framing absolutely can be hot to me, and that's something that often takes a bit for others to understand.

So when it comes to Rabbit, who tends to process most things sexually, or enjoy sex mixed into all parts of his life, I had gotten a little worried.  I wasn't sure if this would be a case where it would never be understood, or something that would be used against me like it has been.

While I was at his place, I introduced him to one of my favorite anime.  I also told him that he was only allowed to watch up to a certain episode alone.  So he watched up to that point the day after I went home, and then had to wait a week until he came over on Thanksgiving.  And while we threw around the idea of going and doing things, we did each other instead, and then decided to watch more of the anime.

And we curled up, watching a visceral, violent, and primal episode of a show.  I was more concerned than anything, because I had mentioned that this show got really hot, but for me, not most people.  We watched it, with all the mindfucks and destruction, and at one point, where one character is literally crushing another one's face into the ground, he just said "Oh, I understand where the sex scene is now".  We finished watching it, and curled up together.

He mentioned that he was realizing he didn't have to keep quiet about being aroused by things like this anymore.  I told him that he never needed to keep quiet about anything that turned him on, and that even if I didn't feel the same way, he should share.  He pointed out that he kept grabbing at me throughout the episode, and that he definitely felt the same way I did.

And then we had probably the most intense sex we've had to date.  With all the wrestling, hitting, pinning, knives, rope, and everything else, we had the most amazing sex while we could barely make a sound.  We dug hands into each other until we bruised, and everything felt so overwhelming that I wanted to scream.  Where until just recently he kept wondering if he'd ever get me off, I came multiple times, and so did he.  Everything felt absolutely mind-blowing, where we've had times where the same sensations were almost too much.  Instead, this time neither of us could get enough, and we walked away high on endorphins and shaking.

I had often wondered about how he would deal with something like this.  About the things that I find hot, when I don't at all enjoy seeing traditional sex.  Apparently he had to suppress things for the same reason.  I'm glad that I get to share this with him, and help him feel less like he needs to hide parts of him.