Finally Integrating

 We've come to the beginning of another year, and I've had a few months to adjust to having Rabbit as a present and consistent part of my life.  That means adjusting to not only someone who calls dibs on every long span of time I have free, but short weekends as well, and if not, comes out to see me during the week.  It's affirming, and a healthy change.  It's also a lot to adjust to.

I'm used to having so much of my time be mine.  When I'm not taking care of Squishy, I'm used to having all day to take care of myself, and get work done.  I was moving all day, every day, with plenty of time and organization to take on more.  Then this boy comes along who wants to spend time with me, and talk to me, and that all sort of went out the window.  

And I've been learning to get more done during the day, and give him presence.  When he's with me I try to give him the attention he needs, and I've been keeping up with all my venues, because self-imposed deadlines exist.

What did fall away though, with traveling, and spending time, and living in a space with him for short periods, was my self care in many ways.  I wasn't working out, and wasn't keeping track of my food.  It happened for long enough that the weight I dropped a couple of years ago came back due to how he eats, and I lost a lot of strength and endurance due to not working out.

So this year, is figuring out how to fit in everything.  I'll set boundaries where I need to on time, so that I can take care of myself in order to be a good partner to him.

I'm planning on doing it slowly.  Adding habits back in over time so it's only a small project of finding little windows of time.  A new puzzle, new pieces, and new holes to fill in.

Just like when I kicked out the gnome, I told myself that I had to take care of myself in order to take care of someone else.  This time it isn't just to take care of Squishy though, but to be there for him too.