A Step at a Time

 For a couple of months now, I've had the feeling that Rabbit and I are gonna make it for the long haul.  We're both committed to us, and have created a patient, caring relationship that is the complete opposite from everything I've ever experienced.  In many ways, we still have the comfortable friendship we've always had, just with the loving space of a relationship on top of that strong foundation.  I realized one day, that I wanted to make him a permanent part of my life, and even started quietly looking at rings for him.

At first, I didn't tell him.  I didn't want to feel too forward, and had a lot of anxiety over some of the surrounding issues, and the logistics of them which were very in the air.  Eventually though, while spending time with him, he started tiptoeing around similar topics, and I called him out on it.  He begrudgingly admitted to feeling about the same way, but didn't go into details then.  For a couple of days afterward, we danced around it, not quite wanted to completely say anything, because we weren't sure where we both were.

And then we just started talking.  We discussed everything from wanting to live together, and share a home, to wanting to build a life together, and all the logistical aspects of that.  We talked about budgets and numbers and space and people and all the different things to consider.  He finally admitted that not only was he thinking about the same things, but had also started looking at rings.  We talked about what we want out of a ceremony, and were still happily on the same page.

In all of that though, as much as we were discussing many things, and excited to get to them, we were clear that we weren't rushing.  We would make each step when it was the right time, in order to ensure things are healthy and secure for us as individuals and as a couple.  It was affirming, honestly.  To be in a relationship where we can talk about the future, and know that it isn't that pressure of using someone, or forcing a step or situation.  Getting to do things at our own pace, when we're ready, and not jumping to things when there would be obstacles tearing us apart or creating too much extra stress.

It's unique, and something I don't think most relationships get to experience.  There's no talk of "Well, this is the right option financially" or "We've been together so long so we should".  We get to say that we're in a position where we feel right in doing it, and that's when we take a step forward.