I've had a lot of general anxiety lately, over the past weeks and months, creeping into almost every day. It makes it difficult to get through a lot of things, with the chasing feelings of guilt, shame, and lack of worth. Needless to say, it makes a just getting through the day an uphill battle some days, and there's only so much I can do to help.
Just before heading to Rabbit for this long month, I was reminded of something called a "Glimmer" which is like the opposite of a trigger. It brings joy to see, hear, or experience, in it's truest form. While anxiety means that sometimes it's hard to remember these things exist, or that I should seek them out, I've been thinking about them more, and trying to remember to keep them on hand.
Simple things like reading a fun book, or blasting weird music. Getting to play with recipes, or find new projects. The feel and smell of leather, or getting to enjoy a cigar. Sweet fresh fruit, or just getting to go for short adventure somewhere.
They're all things that make me happier, instantly. Relatively simple things that can be done, but I notice get tossed aside when anxiety creeps in and I'm not feeling the best.
And that's the thing isn't it. Our minds don't seek what we know will make us feel better when we start feeling lower. It fixates on the low points, and never gives us a chance to remember those little happy things until we accidentally stumble upon them. It has me thinking of making an actual little list of everything that I should remember when I'm feeling lower, not as a long term affirmation type of thing, but just something to bring some joy into my day.
Perhaps that's something I should make up soon.
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