I got home from my long visit with Rabbit and found myself missing him, despite all the anxiety and lack of space due to his injury and being out of work. At the same time, I was swamped with things at home and the stress there. Top that off with needing to catch up from two weeks of not working, and it meant I was no recovering well from the mental state I went home in. For several days I barely got anything I needed to finished at all, just because I was being dragged around for whatever my parents wanted.
After about the first week, I managed to be able to get some work in though, and was getting back to some routine. I was just about on top of things as much as I needed to be, and then things changed. Rabbit had people moving in and out of the house, who weren't doing anything near what they needed to. He couldn't move much, or lift anything, which had him feeling horrible, and didn't help the situation we were trying to get out of.
On my end, while trying to get things done, Squishy went to go to a friend's house, and while barely a house away, my father's truck caught fire. It was old, but now it's gone. Luckily, Squishy managed the situation well at first, and was fine, but she still tried going off to her friends, and I had to have her come home, knowing how she would drop after a real emergency. This lead to a massive number of blowups and things at home, which was hard to say the least.
A few days later, many bad days included, Rabbit made it out for his first visit in a few weeks, and was planning on spending a few days. We were prepared to help each other get through some things, so I would still have time to work, but of course, nothing goes as planned. He got notice from work that nothing had been updated despite his application for short term disability, and so he had to go back the day after he arrived. Due to many many things, I offered to go out with him to help, and he tried brushing me off until he mentioned being able to have a break from everything at home. My mind had never considered the idea of actually getting away from everything here, because it's my normal.
At that, I called in Squishy. I talked to her, and offered to bring her with us and we would figure things out. She wasn't ready to do a long ride in the car yet, but said she would be ok with me going. Meanwhile Rabbit wanted to get back relatively quickly in order to handle work things. This meant a scramble to pack, have things ready for Squishy, and be sure that I had everything that I needed to for three weeks.
After all that, you'd think things would be easier once I was here, but no. Everything from grocery shopping, to doing laundry, to cleaning the floor has exploded, at one point meaning that I needed to flush out my eyes and face completely. I've been mentally running on fumes, but I am getting more done this time compared to last time I was out here, which is at least one bonus.
However, there's been a lot of talking about the future. A lot of trying to plan for how things will change, and what we want to, or need to do over the coming months. In many ways he's so receptive to all of it, and I'm happy with the possibilities that are there. It's just tough sometimes looking at the reality of Rabbit's space, even with people saying they've done things, and how I've found them when I'm now here.
It'll be ok though. I can see the steps, and everyone seems ok with things. We'll see how things unfold as there is space from all the situations.
Comments
Post a Comment