A New Devious Chapter

While Lux and I aren't at Pennsic this year, and I'm still not able to make it to Summer Camp this month, I still seem to be just as busy. The biggest thing is that my brother is moving back from North Carolina.  He and his abusive girlfriend had been looking for a house up here for a while, and they found one about a month ago, and a couple weeks later, they got an offer on the one down south.  Things went from a crawl, to planning a move in a month and a half, and they'll be officially back up here at the end of the month.  I saw the property earlier this week, and it's exactly what he has wanted since he was a kid.  Tons of land to turn into an offroad track, far off the street so he can't be bothered, a barn to turn into a shop, as well as a full basement.  He's even already planning on taking Squishy for overnights.  I think he'll be happy up here once he gets settled in to house a bit more. Later this month I'm headed up to Lux's for a week

When I was sixteen, I remember sitting at the computer, and deciding that at some point, I wanted a body piercing.  Because it was me, I then went about researching different piercings to see exactly what I wanted done.  Most of the piercings out there looked at the time rather unappealing to me, but I really enjoyed the way pierced nipples looked.  I loved them, and decided that I would at some point have it done. Well, then I was dating the gnome, who, along with any other form of self expression I wanted, tried to fight against me ever having the piercing done. Then, on April 21st of 2011, I decided to go and have them done.  It was a gift to myself for finally getting rid of the gnome, and gaining new independence and sense of self. I unfortunately had also already started playing with Thrax. Well, he decided that these piercings were something that he didn't need to care about.  He pressured me to stretch them faster than they should be, and if I went to stretch them w

I've been seeing a ton of stuff all over about how women are avoiding lines on their faces, and winding up with any signs of aging, or marks on their faces. That these lines are frowned upon, because skin should be perfectly smooth without any signs of anything. And, maybe it's me being more masculine, but unlike most of my body, I have no problem with the lines on my face.  In fact, I'm kind of proud of all of them. My smile lines mean I've laughed, and found happiness in things despite how my life has been. The lines starting to form near my eyes don't mean I've scowled, but that I've smiled with my entire face, in a way that couldn't be mistaken. Even the lines in my forehead, are because I fought.  I fought for respect, and to be treated like a person, and these lines show me that I refuse to back down. I'm reminded of who I am by the lines that have formed on my face, and what I've stood up through, and what I've done. And

Lux came by the night before my birthday, because we hadn't seen each other in so long.  We didn't get to go out, but at least got a couple hours to hang out and snuggle, which we both needed. It also meant I got to give him his birthday present, which was a heavy as hell flogger with monkey fists at the end of each fall.  He'd mentioned wanting one in the past, and so I of course put way more thought than necessary into every step, and it wound up with a ton of detail. And, being me, and not doing nearly as many projects as normal because of my mental state, was beyond overly critical about it.  He loved it though.  He kept checking it out, and thanking me, and saying he was going to kill people with it. It reminded me of how I function so much better when I'm making something.  That I'm someone who feels fulfilled with creating, and having projects to look forward to. I'm a builder, and a creator, and someone who needs to be constantly learning and exp

It's my birthday! I've spoken on here a few times before about how I usually dislike my birthday.  That things tend to explode, and I wind up just being upset and alone.  Like with other things, I wind up being forgotten. This year, I made the decision to hide my birth date on all social media.  While I'd done this as a social experiment in the past, which proved positive to my thoughts, this time it's a bit different. I dislike the idea of social obligation and going through the motions.  I enjoy things to be real, and honest.  I often don't do a lot of things that might be expected of me with certain people because it's more social obligation, and because it isn't completely heartfelt, I skip out, and it puts me in worse graces of some. But, I've gotten old enough that I don't give a shit about everyone liking me.  I'm far too strong a personality, and rarely censor myself, and that's going to put off a lot of people.  I however wil

So, this person who was projecting the other day.  What was he projecting about you may have asked? Well, he's been consistently saying lately that he doesn't feel like he is represented anywhere, and that he has no specific place that he fits into and belongs.  That he feels like an outlier. And I think that was why he was trying to claw for something.  He wanted to cling to an idea that he could relate to, that it would give him something he held in common. But, you'd think that he would have looked at me, and realized that he was talking to the wrong person in that moment. I can't actually remember a time at which I was around incredibly similar people.  My friends are generally of a different gender.  Any nerdy circles I go into often don't share my other hobbies.  My taste in media is often odd. I'm a weirdo, and that's never been something that bothered me. I don't look for a circle to fit into.  I look for singular people to bring into

I had an exchange with someone the other day, where simply poking fun, and a single comment spurned a spiral of butthurt that I couldn't comment on there any longer because I knew it wouldn't be heard. However, I knew a good chunk of it was mistargetted projecting, and I very nearly flipped. This person, who I will admit is of a minority, happened to say that I didn't know about under-representation or toxicity in the geek community. Let that sink in. Give it a minute. Read it over again. He told an Agender female bodied person who attends events and hobbies solo that they don't understand toxicity in geek culture. Because, when I was a young teen, there were tons of girls playing magic who didn't just do so because their boyfriend did.  That I was spoken to as though I knew the game, and that people didn't just think they could take advantage of me.  That my consistently goth and masculine preference was absolutely accepted by everyone. And that