I remember for the longest time thinking that I was wired for monogamy. That I could only have feelings for one person, because I typically only had a crush on one person at a time.
While spending the last day or so with Pyre though, I kept thinking about how the first couple of years I had with Kitty were. That one of us always had another partner, and even though we claimed we were just best friends, there was absolutely a level of attraction and love that was always there.
And I remember never feeling like I felt less for whoever I was dating when Kitty was around. I had the same feelings for them both, and made sure I spent time and energy for them both. On the same hand, Kitty had a partner he was living with, and I never felt a need to end their relationship, or pull him away from who he was with. I made sure he had time with his partner, and enjoyed seeing the moments where they were happy.
Maybe, just maybe, I've been accidentally poly for so long that I didn't realize I wasn't being monoamorous.
And when I think about it that way, I think about how long I've been trying to practice good poly. Making sure everyone got what they needed, and happy to see people treating my partners well.
While I still believe that the abuse I've been through has helped me be a better partner to who I have now, maybe, I've been learning how to poly for far longer that knew. And maybe, I wasn't that bad at it considering one partner has stuck around through all of it.
While spending the last day or so with Pyre though, I kept thinking about how the first couple of years I had with Kitty were. That one of us always had another partner, and even though we claimed we were just best friends, there was absolutely a level of attraction and love that was always there.
And I remember never feeling like I felt less for whoever I was dating when Kitty was around. I had the same feelings for them both, and made sure I spent time and energy for them both. On the same hand, Kitty had a partner he was living with, and I never felt a need to end their relationship, or pull him away from who he was with. I made sure he had time with his partner, and enjoyed seeing the moments where they were happy.
Maybe, just maybe, I've been accidentally poly for so long that I didn't realize I wasn't being monoamorous.
And when I think about it that way, I think about how long I've been trying to practice good poly. Making sure everyone got what they needed, and happy to see people treating my partners well.
While I still believe that the abuse I've been through has helped me be a better partner to who I have now, maybe, I've been learning how to poly for far longer that knew. And maybe, I wasn't that bad at it considering one partner has stuck around through all of it.
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