Creating Through Destruction

 I want to end this year with something that I've been thinking about a lot lately.  Especially with what I spoke about last time in regards to Felix, I've been doing a lot of contemplating on the concepts of relationship anarchy.

Realistically, this is something I've been doing for years.  Just in having the dynamic I do with Lux, where we are happily cultivating our own sort of relationship, without the usual expectations and steps like cohabitation and the like.  We've instead focused on doing what's healthiest for us both, so that we can be sure that whatever we're doing is best for us in the long run.

I love unique relationships.  Things that are free of the normal ideas of how partnership is shaped, and instead created based on the needs and resources of those involved.  I love letting things shape themselves organically, without putting someone into a pre-labeled box.

When everyone knows they have their own form of relationship, it helps create a space free of jealousy, and outside of the toxic comparative space that can occur in dynamics pre-shaped by what society tells us a relationship looks like.  We get deeper connection when we build something based specifically on the two partners present, which creates more intimacy and trust over time.

It also means we're not afraid to change what a relationship looks like, even with the same people over time.  A dynamic can change shape, without meaning that the people involved don't care of each other anymore, and it's simply part of the growth of the partnership.  So long as it's done in a way that's healthy for those involved, it helps build a sense of safety, because there's no obligation to try and keep up the motions for the sake of staying in a person's life.

There's an encouragement to build platonic relationships.  To celebrate deep connection that isn't romantic or sexual.  It validates closeness in all forms, and the importance of exploring those spaces without having to discount any particular person as less than.

This coming year I want to throw away the idea of relationship expectation.  I want to form more unique connections, deepen the ones I have, and make more people feel cared for.