A New Devious Chapter

I was perusing Tumblr the other day, and found a picture of a woman's throat with a piece of string wrapped around it.  It struck me with an incredible amount of meaning, and symbolism about the collars we use to define our dynamics. The string was nothing special.  A simple piece of twine, but it got me thinking.  It was similar to how some people would tie a string around their finger to remember to do something.  Something they look at, and touch, and can keep the idea in their head. However, in this case it wasn't around the woman's finger.  It was at her throat.  A vital, and vulnerable area.  A part of the body that in the wrong hands, could make us lose our consciousness, cripple, or even kill us. And we hand that over to someone we trust.  Someone who wouldn't harm what we give, but will protect it. It doesn't matter what is wrapped around a woman's throat.  It could be an elaborate silver collar, engraved and delicate, or som...

While life is fairly calm right now, I'm finding myself flailing to get caught up with everything coming up. Performances are coming up, and I need to find the motivation to dance more.  I know that once I turn on the music and devote time to it, I'll be fine, and find my addiction to wiggling again, but it seems thrown away right now. Getting everything started to begin making costuming is taking longer than anticipated, which I should have realized.  It sometimes feels like I'm failing for an impossible result. While I feel inspired to work on things, they are often not the right things.  There is so much I need to do lately, and even though I should be playing with chain and fabric, I am compelled toward drawing.  Which I manage to finish quickly, but I need to figure out a way to balance my projects that need to happen, with what I want to make. I'm feeling restless, and off.  I need a few days away from home I think.  To really figure out how I...

Limits are important.  I will never think that having limits makes someone weak, or boring.  I myself have own share of them, some out of preference, and some for psychological reasoning that I simply need to keep out of my play to have me stay happy and content while with another person. I am always sure to consider someone else's limits when playing with them, so they can stay comfortable with me, and know they will be just as respected and I would want from them. When I have a more "permanent" dynamic though, I hand myself over, limits and all. I know, I know, cue the no-limit slave arguments. Seriously though, who is going to cut off someone's arm?  Or who would give themselves to someone where that might be a concern?  If you're going to engage in a serious dynamic, I would hope that you've spent the time to build respect between each other, developed trust, and care deeply about one another. And part of that means even surrendering your limits ...

I fear stagnation.  In every aspect of my life. I need regular change, and break from any routine.  I don't want any part of my life to become so predictable that I can walk myself through myself through my day. It's why I cycle through so many different art mediums.  I don't want to burn out on any of them, so I will jump from one to another, to keep myself inspired, and in love with all of them. I need adventure.  To leave the house, and wander the woods, or something away from home, even just for an hour. New recipes, things to learn, all aspects of life need change and evolution. Including sexy time. I hate the idea of sex being the same.  Considering all the kink I'm into (And I in no expect one partner to share every kink that I do) sex should never become routine. However, my last two relationships both had sex stagnate into the same five minute script.  To the point where I could almost tell where my exes hands would move, how their br...

Thrax used to just call me a tank. I can take a hell of a beating, and enjoy every second of it. No, really.  To the point where people watching would fear that I would have serious injury or death, and a minute or so later, I'd completely walk it off like it never happened. Most sadists try to call my bluff, and I've wound up wearing out more than one without coming close to my limit. To top it off, it takes a lot to mark me up, and I heal incredibly quickly. I was made for pain. Do I expect anyone else to take the amount of pain I do?  Oh fuck no.  I'd never have anyone take the beating I can, and it often keeps me from indulging in my own sadistic desires, because I crave someone with my own tolerance to rip to shreds. And I don't fault anyone with a lower tolerance than myself.  I'm fairly numb to sensation because of my high pain tolerance.  We all have our strengths, and quirks, and things that can make each of us fun to play with. Now, I ten...

The good: My brother dumped the cunt he was seeing!  We've only been trying to get them to break up for six of the seven years they've been together!  I get my brother back.  This is fantastic, because my brother is one of the only blood relatives I have who I really care about. I had a bonfire over the weekend, and got to spend time with some good friends, and a few people I hadn't seen in a while.  There was lots of silliness, wiggling, drums, fire, cigars, and positive energy that I've needed lately.  Lux came by, and after spoiling him with good food, and lots of fire, we snugglefucked for hours, then got way less sleep than we should have. I'm finally starting to make a bit of a dent in my project list, and it's seeming somewhat manageable.  Dance classes are starting soon, and the girls my mom works with all want chainmaille jewelry from me, which means everything is getting started.  It's just the kick I need to stay inspired. The bad: M...

After so many posts about the workings of my brain lately, it's time for a real world update. I've moved out of the apartment with Thrax.  I couldn't stand being there anymore, with him either ignoring me, being an ass, moments of being apologetic, and hearing how insecure his girl is.  I have moved back in with my parents (I know, I said I wouldn't) because three weeks of not talking to them was a reality check that they needed. They're actually being encouraging, though my father is still fairly clueless about my life.  It's not something I'm surprised about, but so far they're being much better than they ever have been. I'm also swamped with projects, be it sewing, drawing, crochet, or chain maille.  I love being able to hop between mediums, and stay inspired to work on all of it.  April is entirely devoted to getting through as much as possible, because I've got quite a few performances in May. Being back here also lets me start teach...