A New Devious Chapter

So, I notice that I post a lot of negative on here. I need to stop focusing and overthinking on that, and finding more sources of positivity to try and cultivate something better. As such, I will try to post less about negative things going on in this blog from here on out.  I will still keep things relevant and current to my life, but without so many things that hone in on the bad, and instead, try to talk more about the good. I've even posted here before about how people talk too much about the negative online, and not enough about the things that make them happy.  Time to try and start turning that around.

This year may be ending on a sour note, but more on that later.  In the meantime, I want to try and push more positivity by looking at everything I want the new year to bring. In the next year I want to: Dance somewhere new Finally get into a scorpion pose Spend way more time on an endorphin high Try something new Play around with a new coloring book Be around friends and partners more Go on adventures Continue growing beyond all the shit in my life Try to be as healthy and supportive as possible Become happy with my body That's a hell of a list.  Let's see if I manage.

This year has been... weird. I learned that I can balance multiple partners in person, and not just stare at them confused about which one to snuggle. I learned that metamours, and building connections with them can be awesome. Headstands became so close to my reach I can smell it. I experienced polydrop for the first time, and it sucks. I attended a partner's wedding, and used that time to dig into him in ways only I can. I was present. I learned as much as I could. Over just a couple weeks, I put together a coloring book to share with friends. For the first time, I wore rope, and got suspended. I built new friendships. I ended some toxic ones. The karma dance was performed. I spoke up. I started explaining to my daughter about negative behavior, manipulation, and abuse so she will always be able to recognize it. I discovered how much my body and mind is affected by my diet and exercise, even after only a couple days. This year has been a lot of goo

A little over a month ago, Kitty had a friend over, who had asked for help with some serious stuff.  We talked about it, and discussed about how she would likely start attaching herself to him, and that he needed to be aware of that. Well, gave it a couple weeks, and she wants to be a serious partner of his.  He's saying that she's making legitimate progress on making herself a better person, and someone who he would consider dating, but mostly just says she's cute.  Sometimes, old habits die hard. However, he already has three partners, and still has trouble balancing that many.  He knows this, and often talks to me about how badly he feels for not being able to give proper time to everyone.  Of course, he barely thinks about that when considering taking on another partner though. And it makes me think about how after a while of having two partners, that I'm still completely poly-saturated.  I can't imagine taking on another partner.  Both because I doub

Along with all the normal holiday stress, this year also brings about the cookiepocalypse, and making a ton of gifts for people. This year the cookiepocalypse happens to be a little smaller than normal.  I was initially told to barely make any, and when I pointed out how little it would be, I then said I would be making more, and it was understood.  The house is full of a ton of cookies, but unfortunately, there's been very little healthy stuff in the house as well, which has been turning my mood to garbage. I have also put together a whole box of stuff for Kitty, and the house down there.  I need to remember to mail it, and at this point it likely won't make it for Christmas, but it will make it there eventually.  I think it's all stuff they will enjoy, and can't wait for them to see everything. I've made some super cool stuff for Lux, and it's been really hard to keep it a secret.  I'm looking forward to spending time with him over the holidays, and

I saw Lux before he went back home last week.  He has been dealing with serious issues with his parents, and finally came by to see me while taking care of things. And where he had said he planned for us to go to brunch, he instead dropped the emotional bomb of everything going on.  And I just listened, curling up next to him while he dumped it all out.  Normally, Lux focuses so hard to keep everything at a baseline.  To act like he's unphased by things, and just able to move and flow with things.  This time, he let down those walls, and just spewed. It was one of those times when it reminds me there are still people who think men, and domly folk can't feel stress.  They need to be a rock through everything.  Those absolutely unrealistic expectations that prove they've never had a partner through any sort of serious life event.  This didn't make Lux weak, or any less of what he is.  If anything, it showed the trust and connection we have. And of course, he apologi

I've mentioned how Pyre and Lux are going through a lot of stuff right now.  There's chaos on all sides of my polycule, and it's creating a lot of stress. Kitty has been using what time he can to help with Pyre, and I've been trying to give him time and presence through it to process things.  Also discussing my view on the situation as a whole.  He's been helping Pyre, because they're living together, and she's his partner. I've also been talking a lot with Pyre through everything.  Even though she doesn't effect the stability or health of my relationships, she's still important to one of my important people, and someone I know would be a good friend regardless of us having a mutual partner.   Side notes: When Thrax was trying to win over Bit, I didn't approve of her at all.  She had no ambition, no respect, and barely took care of herself.  If Thrax wasn't trying to get into her pants, I never would have given her the time of