One of the things that I had had to deal with quite a bit as camp went on was people assuming the chain I wear every day was a collar to Lux.
Part of my normal jewelry is a piece of elfweave chain I made that fits like a choker. It was probably the most difficult chain I ever made when I started on it, but it looks complex and pretty, so I wear it every day.
And being where we were, a lot of people assumed it was a collar. That either Lux had made it, or we had gotten it made as a symbol of our exchange.
I corrected them over most of the weekend. Saying that I had made it myself, and it was simply a fun project that I like wearing. It left a lot of people confused as to our dynamic, but I think that'll be covered in the future.
Just before we left, as I was showing Lux the new toys I got, a couple we had talked to on and off was there, and I had to explain that they were for me to use, rather than just him. They were suddenly drawn toward the idea of me as a top, and then put together that we were attached, and commented on my choker as a collar.
Lux very quickly commented that there was nothing physical to see, but that power exchange is there. For some reason, they didn't get this, unlike the folks in Compound who simply acknowledged that we have a weird, and very personal dynamic.
This one hit Lux weirdly. I don't know why, and we haven't spoken about it yet. In the meantime though, it's almost been reaffirming for our dynamic. That we are very secure in having a dynamic that is ours. That we don't need a classic visual symbol to validate that exchange, or make it any more real. That we are both present and acknowledging of what we've developed for each other, and that a piece of jewelry isn't needed to be happy with each other and our dynamic.
Our brand of power exchange is based in being happy, healthy, and promoting growth and care in each other. In many ways we look like equals, but that's because we have such a fluid form of exchange that we've developed. He's always in charge though, and in some ways having no symbol removes the idea of power exchange in play from the heads of others, which I prefer.
Lux speaking up just in that moment was a wonderful reminder for me, and incredibly centering, whether or not he knew it at the time. Just one more thing in a long chain of good things at camp.
Part of my normal jewelry is a piece of elfweave chain I made that fits like a choker. It was probably the most difficult chain I ever made when I started on it, but it looks complex and pretty, so I wear it every day.
And being where we were, a lot of people assumed it was a collar. That either Lux had made it, or we had gotten it made as a symbol of our exchange.
I corrected them over most of the weekend. Saying that I had made it myself, and it was simply a fun project that I like wearing. It left a lot of people confused as to our dynamic, but I think that'll be covered in the future.
Just before we left, as I was showing Lux the new toys I got, a couple we had talked to on and off was there, and I had to explain that they were for me to use, rather than just him. They were suddenly drawn toward the idea of me as a top, and then put together that we were attached, and commented on my choker as a collar.
Lux very quickly commented that there was nothing physical to see, but that power exchange is there. For some reason, they didn't get this, unlike the folks in Compound who simply acknowledged that we have a weird, and very personal dynamic.
This one hit Lux weirdly. I don't know why, and we haven't spoken about it yet. In the meantime though, it's almost been reaffirming for our dynamic. That we are very secure in having a dynamic that is ours. That we don't need a classic visual symbol to validate that exchange, or make it any more real. That we are both present and acknowledging of what we've developed for each other, and that a piece of jewelry isn't needed to be happy with each other and our dynamic.
Our brand of power exchange is based in being happy, healthy, and promoting growth and care in each other. In many ways we look like equals, but that's because we have such a fluid form of exchange that we've developed. He's always in charge though, and in some ways having no symbol removes the idea of power exchange in play from the heads of others, which I prefer.
Lux speaking up just in that moment was a wonderful reminder for me, and incredibly centering, whether or not he knew it at the time. Just one more thing in a long chain of good things at camp.
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