While Lux was here last weekend, we continued the process of small renegotiations and creating a much more coherent understanding of how our relationship and needs work.
Part of that was figuring out what we should, and shouldn't do with other people. More specifically, if there should be anything that is exclusive to our dynamic that we don't share with others.
I've talked about this before I believe, how I think keeping something special to a dynamic, which doesn't get shared with anyone else can be a good way to create security, or make each dynamic unique. Lux has had one thing of his which was a need for a long time on his behalf, which we talked about and made a bit clearer, although it likely won't change how I do anything.
And then I sat, and wondered if there was anything on my side. Part of me wanted just something. I actually went to fetlife and looked for something that I would only want us sharing with each other, and couldn't find anything that jumped at me that is so special to just us.
To which I just thought, that what we've built together I never want him just dropping on someone else as well. We've taken time to consider the other, build trust, try new things, and create a dynamic that is in it's own essence uniquely ours. That's what I appreciate the most, and where some domly folks will make up a set of rules and expectations and slap them on every partner they have, I want to keep what we've built just to us. This strange and wonderful situation that's been molded by years of good and bad, that I don't think anyone would understand without having gone through all the same things.
That's what I want. Us to just be us together. To keep building something that's ours.
Part of that was figuring out what we should, and shouldn't do with other people. More specifically, if there should be anything that is exclusive to our dynamic that we don't share with others.
I've talked about this before I believe, how I think keeping something special to a dynamic, which doesn't get shared with anyone else can be a good way to create security, or make each dynamic unique. Lux has had one thing of his which was a need for a long time on his behalf, which we talked about and made a bit clearer, although it likely won't change how I do anything.
And then I sat, and wondered if there was anything on my side. Part of me wanted just something. I actually went to fetlife and looked for something that I would only want us sharing with each other, and couldn't find anything that jumped at me that is so special to just us.
To which I just thought, that what we've built together I never want him just dropping on someone else as well. We've taken time to consider the other, build trust, try new things, and create a dynamic that is in it's own essence uniquely ours. That's what I appreciate the most, and where some domly folks will make up a set of rules and expectations and slap them on every partner they have, I want to keep what we've built just to us. This strange and wonderful situation that's been molded by years of good and bad, that I don't think anyone would understand without having gone through all the same things.
That's what I want. Us to just be us together. To keep building something that's ours.
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