Awakening

Last Fusion post for a couple weeks.  I think. 
I can't actually promise that.

Anyway.

While making some plans to play with people at Fusion, one of the things that I noticed was that the majority of my friends tend to be top leaning.  This means, that when they either ask me to play, or I approach them, most of those people are asking me to bottom.

And, I found this a little disappointing.  Every time I was asked to be a stationary bottom for a scene, it just made me wish I had more opportunity to top.  It reminded me how much I enjoy being a sadist, and that I wanted more chances to play with that.

Mind you, I do get a ton of enjoyment from the play I have with Lux, or even with Kitty on the chance that it happens.  I have no problem being a bottom during that play, because that's the dynamic we've built, and what I enjoy from it.

But with other people, in situations I haven't built yet, I want more opportunities to be actively topping in scenes.

I've approached a couple people to throw them some beatdowns.  I still need to negotiate details, but it's giving me some amount of happy brain to know that I'll be topping again. There's that idea that I am rusty in my head that I need to shake, but I know that when it comes down to it, I prioritize safety, and so long as we're having fun, that's what matters.

I get to actively show off that I'm a switch again soon, and that's exciting.