A New Devious Chapter

One of the things that contributes most to people mistaking my sexual orientation is the fact that I will still play with girls.  I am often heard saying that I love beating up girls, and have no issue tying them up, breaking their minds, or beating the shit out of them. And then when I say I'm straight, they just don't understand. Even when I offer to play with female friends, they don't quite get it. Because I offer them non-sexual playtime. For some reason, the ability to separate play and sex is such a rare thing in my area.  And sure, sometimes I want all the kink in my sex. But more often than not, there is no sex in my kink. I'm not talking about the occasional play session that doesn't end in me bouncing on a cock. I mean that a good majority of my experience with play barely involves removing clothes.  There is no interaction with genitalia, no smooches, no sex at all.  And this concept confuses the fuck out of people. Until they pl

Oh yea, that's right, I actually feel the need to type this up lately.  Never assume anything about me.  I will surprise you.  From the first moment, to years later, there will be things about me that you will not expect, and assuming the wrong thing, and treating me that way will only kill your chances.  Common things that occur with this are my sexuality, orientation, or gullibility. Don't try and get anywhere the first time we hang out in person.  Sure, we can talk sex, and play and all of it, but don't suggest anything.  I've got a very strict "No play on the first date" policy, and trying to break it, will result in me breaking you. No means no, but yes does not mean push further.  If I'm cool with something, enjoy that.  I'll take things further if I'm comfortable with it.  Trust me, I have no issue taking the initiative sexually. Make the first move.  Yes, this means after we've hung out at least once.  Even just a small comment o

You know that post I had a couple weeks ago about thinking I capable now of things I was completely broken over a year ago? Yea, well, I had the chance to actually test some of  that out recently. It went fantastically. It wasn't really set up beforehand, but everyone was aware of everyone else's situation, and limits to respect.  It was comfortable, and everyone involved walked away happy. Honestly, I've never had a threesome actually go that well before.  Had I not been packing up from performing at a faire, I would have wanted to just snuggle and revel in it for an hour or so afterward. It gives me so much hope for the future, and really proves to me that people can make all the difference with every interaction. Also, knowing how nervous Lux was and how happy he was afterward just over the fact that I was as good with it as I was made me find him that much more amazing. On a side note, this was the first time that I've done anything to a girl and had it

As a teenager, I was usually the one being dumped.  My relationships didn't last long (and in fact, I think nothing that lasts less than a month actually counts, which means a good lot of them don't) but it was the same issue every time. Not that we fought. Not that cheating occurred. Not that we hurt the other in any way. No, the thing  that each one of them didn't stand for was that it just felt like we were good friends who fooled around.   And who was I to argue.  They were dating a teenage sociopath.  There isn't going to be this soul-stopping connection. Then I found Kitty, and experienced what actual romantic love was. It wasn't a crush.  It wasn't this all consuming thing.   I felt inspired. I noticed myself grow, evolve, and be happier as a person, whether he was around or not. And when I did think about him, or talk to him, or spend time with him, I felt at peace. It didn't matter what drama was happening, or the issues g

Recently I've noticed that the downfalls of social media have appeared in my conversations with friends.  How it triggers them in ill ways, makes them want to talk to others less, and in general, brings them down. It seems as though the resource we use to create connections, and sprouts convenience also causes depression and disappointment, which shouldn't have to go hand in hand. And, to be honest, I entirely understand why.  It's basic human logic, and something that even I am guilty of at certain points in my life. We're taught to share the bad.  That talking it out, and venting will help, and others will listen, and embrace us in care and aid.  So every small thing we encounter we spew onto the feeds of others, unable to process and deal with any of it ourselves.  Why should we take on that weight alone, if hundreds of others can give a hand, and make the load lighter?  So we see negativity, expecting others to step in and help, despite their own issues, which

Ok, so very few people are going to understand that title.  Nerdcookies to those who do. I've got a few buttons on my person that can actually change my demeanor completely. No, I don't quite mean in the way that harmful triggers do.  Not the things that cause others to curl up, panic, and need to calm themselves. They're buttons that when someone makes contact with them, a certain part of my mind takes over, and it's completely different with each one. No, this isn't a cheat sheet to where they are.  Really, that's just taking out all the fun. However, I've got three, so learning where they are can be really handy for the right person.  Or dangerous, considering... The first one brings about violence.  It's technically two buttons at once, but they are easy and convenient to hit at the same time.    The slightest bit of pressure on them will have me swinging in a blood rage, trying to tear apart whoever was so (un)fortunate as to hit them.  T

I know you're moving, and probably won't read this until a day or two after it goes live, due to your own exhaustion, and being busy. Then again, you tend to look for those few minutes of escape to read things here, so you may get to it as soon as you are out of the car after your long ass drive to the frozen north. I am sorry you feel so worried about me through all of this.  I know I steel myself over from almost everything, which makes me difficult to read.  Admittedly, the first week after you said you were moving I was terrified.  You would find some scene up there, fall into place, meet some girl (or boy, or both!), and fall away like so many other people.  I'd become some irritation of your past that tried to creep back in and get shooed away, no longer a part of where you are. At the same time I was terrified that you wouldn't find any of it.  That you'd become reclusive, and hide from everything life has to offer.  You'd fall back into your depressi