This year, I definitely want to top more. I want to play with things I don't do often, or try new things. I want more play in my life altogether, both with my partners and otherwise.
Unfortunately, while I do find myself to be more of a top and a sadist normally, I've bottomed so much in the last few years, I feel like with a lot of people, that's what they associate me as.
It's difficult at times to talk to others and be like "Hey, no, I don't want you to do anything to me, but I would like to beat the shit out of you, it'll be great."
I also notice that I wind up topping way more women than men overall. While this might partially be due to people having the wrong assumptions about me, I also think that it's due to some other things as well. I find that most men submit or bottom in a very sexual way. It becomes very focused on genital torture, or sexual masochism. Lots of sexual humiliation, or gender play in ways to put emphasis on the man's genitals. And, to be perfectly honest, if I don't want to have sex with a person, I'd much rather ignore that a person's genitals exist. From my experience, I find that more women are ok with this, if not appreciative of it, as compared to men, and it's had an impact on who I wind up topping.
It's difficult to start doing more in the things I want to do more of when I have such a different approach, but it's worth it to do the things that I actually want to do.
Unfortunately, while I do find myself to be more of a top and a sadist normally, I've bottomed so much in the last few years, I feel like with a lot of people, that's what they associate me as.
It's difficult at times to talk to others and be like "Hey, no, I don't want you to do anything to me, but I would like to beat the shit out of you, it'll be great."
I also notice that I wind up topping way more women than men overall. While this might partially be due to people having the wrong assumptions about me, I also think that it's due to some other things as well. I find that most men submit or bottom in a very sexual way. It becomes very focused on genital torture, or sexual masochism. Lots of sexual humiliation, or gender play in ways to put emphasis on the man's genitals. And, to be perfectly honest, if I don't want to have sex with a person, I'd much rather ignore that a person's genitals exist. From my experience, I find that more women are ok with this, if not appreciative of it, as compared to men, and it's had an impact on who I wind up topping.
It's difficult to start doing more in the things I want to do more of when I have such a different approach, but it's worth it to do the things that I actually want to do.
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