The ride home from Lux was far more smooth than the ride up to his place. I think the world needed to give me that difficult one so I can appreciate the smoother trips. The train was calm and quiet, and I got in a bit early, with plenty of time to head from one station to another, so I could catch the next bus home.
A bus that was late showed up a few minutes once I got to my gate, which meant I could catch one about twenty minutes earlier than planned. It would however, be packed full.
Having dealt with much worse recently, I gladly hopped on, grabbing one of the last window seats. Next to me sat, in one of the last open seats, was this very nice Korean woman. She was quiet for a while, then offered me candy to start conversation.
Yup, I'm an adult and took candy from a stranger. I did see her pop one into her mouth first, because I'm notoriously careful. We spoke on and off for a handful of back and forth a few times, until I pulled out my crochet. Then not only did she admit to thinking I was only a teenager (Proof I can still pass, hooray) but started talking about how she grew up only being around guys. She had all older brothers, and wound up with guy friends. She said that it made her more of a guy, and that she wished now that she hadn't done so, but had grown up more like a woman so she would be more attractive.
Welp, she moved right into something I could get real deep on.
I spoke about how if she had tried to be more of a "woman" or more feminine, would she feel happy with herself. If she would be forcing herself to behave a certain way just because it's viewed as more attractive. I talked about how growing up more with male friends, I found that I was respected more for just wanting to be a genuine person, and focusing on being myself, without compromise.
We talked about this for a while. Eventually, she held her hand on her lap and said her idea was down there, and then lifted it to her head, and said my thoughts on it were up there, and far more profound than she had ever considered. That she needed to think on it all much more, and decide who she really wanted to be, and what was the right fit.
She then said that she still didn't believe that I was thirty-one, and that I seemed wise even beyond that.
It was a wonderful trip home, and one of those occasions where you look for affirmation in the random things.
A bus that was late showed up a few minutes once I got to my gate, which meant I could catch one about twenty minutes earlier than planned. It would however, be packed full.
Having dealt with much worse recently, I gladly hopped on, grabbing one of the last window seats. Next to me sat, in one of the last open seats, was this very nice Korean woman. She was quiet for a while, then offered me candy to start conversation.
Yup, I'm an adult and took candy from a stranger. I did see her pop one into her mouth first, because I'm notoriously careful. We spoke on and off for a handful of back and forth a few times, until I pulled out my crochet. Then not only did she admit to thinking I was only a teenager (Proof I can still pass, hooray) but started talking about how she grew up only being around guys. She had all older brothers, and wound up with guy friends. She said that it made her more of a guy, and that she wished now that she hadn't done so, but had grown up more like a woman so she would be more attractive.
Welp, she moved right into something I could get real deep on.
I spoke about how if she had tried to be more of a "woman" or more feminine, would she feel happy with herself. If she would be forcing herself to behave a certain way just because it's viewed as more attractive. I talked about how growing up more with male friends, I found that I was respected more for just wanting to be a genuine person, and focusing on being myself, without compromise.
We talked about this for a while. Eventually, she held her hand on her lap and said her idea was down there, and then lifted it to her head, and said my thoughts on it were up there, and far more profound than she had ever considered. That she needed to think on it all much more, and decide who she really wanted to be, and what was the right fit.
She then said that she still didn't believe that I was thirty-one, and that I seemed wise even beyond that.
It was a wonderful trip home, and one of those occasions where you look for affirmation in the random things.
I get nervous having to meet new people, but I relish life altering connections like that. I don't doubt that this conversation has changed her life.
ReplyDelete