I mentioned while talking about my visit with Lux about how he was a bit put off by how long we've been together. How instead of looking at the obvious, we should celebrate what we've accomplished in that time together.
Well, Lux went to camp, and got to really examine the rest of his side of the polycule. Seeing that they talk about being oversaturated, but still take on partners. That they run to others with issues instead of communicating with the partner they need to fix something with. Lack of communication, and just a poorly juggled mess of space and questionable mental safety.
He noticed people not actually acknowledging their needs, but running from them. Treating symptoms and not problems. Playing with tons of people but not spending the time to bond beyond that rush of brain chemicals induced by sensation.
It reminded me of Lux talking about his fears and discomforts. And it made me laugh.
Because that polycule reflected that fear. Spread thin, both to avoid real care, and to only need shallow connections. Like those in high school who claimed to be friends with everyone, but developed no real deep trusted interpersonal relationship.
Lux and I both need time from people. Feelings and conversation and concern. To create actual connection between himself and someone else. We want to share space and time and bond over both vanilla and kink things.
Deep, true connection, well beyond the surface of those play induced chemicals. And a focus on making healthy, maintained relationships, even if we only have a few of them.
Sometimes, we dislike a concept, even if it's what we actually want.
Well, Lux went to camp, and got to really examine the rest of his side of the polycule. Seeing that they talk about being oversaturated, but still take on partners. That they run to others with issues instead of communicating with the partner they need to fix something with. Lack of communication, and just a poorly juggled mess of space and questionable mental safety.
He noticed people not actually acknowledging their needs, but running from them. Treating symptoms and not problems. Playing with tons of people but not spending the time to bond beyond that rush of brain chemicals induced by sensation.
It reminded me of Lux talking about his fears and discomforts. And it made me laugh.
Because that polycule reflected that fear. Spread thin, both to avoid real care, and to only need shallow connections. Like those in high school who claimed to be friends with everyone, but developed no real deep trusted interpersonal relationship.
Lux and I both need time from people. Feelings and conversation and concern. To create actual connection between himself and someone else. We want to share space and time and bond over both vanilla and kink things.
Deep, true connection, well beyond the surface of those play induced chemicals. And a focus on making healthy, maintained relationships, even if we only have a few of them.
Sometimes, we dislike a concept, even if it's what we actually want.
Comments
Post a Comment